Cumming of Age

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Cumming of Age

How skilled is the baby-dyke with her fingers, her tongue, her sweltering, virile vagina? And are older lesbians lacking stamina? Can they keep up with the young? Or are they aging swiftly into dry ice?

These are only few of the questions haunting my 35th year, which is the age that is exactly between young and older. I find myself going through violent spurts of wanting to get laid thoroughly and frequently — and there are moments when I consider bedding women with whom I know I do not wish to become entangled in any way. In short, some days, my pussy is running the decision-making show.

Faithful as my Hitachi has been, the tactile is what woos me in these days. I need tongues (one at a time, please) and teeth and fingernails and breath — I need a body goddammit!

But I also find that am less patient with the process of love or lust or whatever you want to booty-call it. I want her to know what the hell she is doing as soon as she walks through my Brooklyn doors. I don’t want to teach anybody. Nor do I want to ease anyone back into the forgotten process of wild and wanton fucking.

Call me pernickety, call me unfair, but I want a significant number of orgasms from the jump. Which brings me to the opening question. How good are young dykes on the Richter-scale of same-sex screwing.

To be frank, I usually I avoid the baby-dykes. Not because I don’t value them, but because they seem too interested in fashion and pop-culture and what their friends think about their hair or feet or whatever. Everything is more pressing than the business of figuring out how I like my vulva sucked on, or my anus entered. Older dykes tend to be bossy, know-it-alls who make me feel like I am dating my mother. And I don’t get wet with my mother in my ear whispering curt instructions about how I should suck on her nipple.

Now, you would think that the perfect match for me would fall in the mid-thirties age group. But we are just as fucked up and delinquent about the technical details of sixty-nine-ing, or rimming or fisting. As I get older, I get less squeamish. As I get less squeamish, I get more annoyed with people who are afraid to fuck me.

When I was a baby-dyke I was looking for true love and permanence and someone to raise this baby I have been threatening for years. Now that I am jaded and horny and about to get pregnant, I just want good sex and no long-painful arguments about whom is more attached than whom, or why you love me, or don’t love me, or why you just need to have Winnie The Pooh in the bed when we do it.

As things stand, I am single and searching for the woman who could toss my proverbial salad regularly and without too much invested in the traditional U-haul and picket-fence lesbian lifestyle. That said, tomorrow I may awaken beside you and want to marry you. I reserve the right to be anything I damn well decide to be. I can’t wait till I am old enough to fart during sex and not apologize for it.

Bitter as I am, I can only hope that something monumental will occur to render me as dewy-eyed as the young, as wise and forgiving as the old and as happy as the fools (of all ages) who do not even know that they are not having good sex.

(Staceyann Chin is the author of The Other side of Paradise: A Memoir)

Comments [126]

Grace Moon's picture

To be clear

Erin is an editor of content, and does NOT speak for the running of this site.

What we are addressing here is NOT thoughtfull provactive comments, but ones that lash out at people to put them down or belittle them.

I actually can't believe I'm explaining this to a site full of adults.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

I feel your pain

I kinda feels like I never came home from work.  Sad

Steph's picture

Oh, are you supposed to

Oh, are you supposed to apologise if you fart during sex? 

Not2Taem's picture

I think it depends

on where her face is.  Shy

peacekitty's picture

lol...god Steph, I haven't

lol...god Steph, I haven't even read the article but I got a huge kick out of your comment.  Smile

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Not2Taem's picture


Gee Staceyanne, I was going to cum over and give you a little course on respectful lovin' 101, but I can't find my Geritol.  Laughing out loud

Just wait a few years; You'll get over yourself and probably find yourself getting more.  Laughing out loud


The old lady with the tingling fingers, tongue, c...

*to 20 something in the background, "What do you mean you're tired? I let you take a nap 3 hours ago."

Added: Stacey, I am going to assume that with your particular wit, you know this is tongue in cheek, rather than cheeky.  Wink

mystic.misfit's picture

i could do without

I could do without hearing so much about Stacyann's ass and its requirements, and she sure she's so fabulous in bed herself? She's incredibly and narrowly judgmental. No wonder she's not getting laid.

deedee's picture

Yeah right there with you mystic

I guess she is God's gift to the lesbian world .I would not want to fuck this woman ,damn I would sit up in the bed and she would say "No No you don't sit up that way"

SMBrown's picture


Is this park big enough for two mystics??

mystic.misfit's picture

Definitely yes. The IDs are

Definitely yes. The IDs are different enough.

itty's picture


or two DeeDee's and two doglovers.....



SMBrown's picture

That's right!

That's right, I did see another deedee too--maybe off in some far away interweb galaxy we're being cloned!

itty's picture


Now that's a scary thought!!!


deedee's picture


Guys now be nice to me pleaseeeeeeee.

lmz's picture


no one will never clone our ... Rosie !!!!!


LongBeachDogLover's picture


Waz goin' on? There's another DogLover, too. Well, she's DogLover33....but still.

Oh, the confusion!!  LMAO



SMBrown's picture

Copyright infringement--on

Copyright infringement--on both counts!   Smile

LongBeachDogLover's picture






**this is just a joke, it is not intended to infringe on anyone's legitimate:  ™, © , ® or any known ownership of the name:  LongBeachDogLover**   Smile


SMBrown's picture

That looks like fun

Ooo--let me try:



It IS fun!   Laughing out loud


minniesota's picture

Minnie trade mark

I wanna play too!


Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Not2Taem's picture

Time on your hands?

Theorizing alternate gayborhoods and playing with copyrights? I think we need a little less time on our hands and a little more tit in our hands.  Glasses

deedee's picture


Will keep my replys to mysafe on this one

minniesota's picture

So Sorry

Staceyann, I'm so sorry that I would remind you of your mother! Smiling at you. Hope you find that her you are looking for soon.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

deedeevon's picture


Gotta share.  The best lover I have ever had in my 41 years was 52 years old.  I was 36 at the time.  She knew how to love my body the way no one ever has to this day.  I can't remember her getting tired however I remember me passing out and sleeping like a baby after making love.  I found myself writing poetry, singing and humming while shopping for groceries', while at work or just walking down the street.  Everyone noticed my glow and my frequent smile. 

Ummmmmmm...  I think I'll give her a call.

Fastgurrrl's picture

Re: Wow

Niiiiiiiiiiiice, right on! Smile

LongBeachDogLover's picture


I'll read this when I have the strength....   Wink