Happily Never Afters

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Happily Never Afters

Can’t make it to one of the official L Word finale watching parties? Never fear! You’re invited to the official Velvetpark “It’s been one ‘L’ of run” viewing shindig! Check back here at 9 p.m. Eastern time to sound off about the finale. I’ll be here commenting while I watch, along with a few of our other bloggers. I know it’s rough, the show ending and all, but between the lot of us, I think we can lesbian process our way through it.

Meanwhile, I can’t be the only one nursing a sinking feeling that we won’t be getting answers to all of our burning questions tonight, but dagnabbit, a girl can dream. So I’ve decided to share my wishlist of what I’d like to see happen tonight and I asked a few of my fellow pop culture aficionados here at Velvetpark to chime in, too:

Amy Nicole Miller’s Wishlist:

Tasha and Alice decide, instead of breaking up, they should just have a three-some w/Jamie. Alice goes on to star in her own TV talk show, Tasha shaves her head and wears a tank top every day while working as Alice's houseboy. Helena's lover from prison shows up at Hit and they decide to move back to that island together. Kit comes out of the closet and calls up that drag king with the long hair to move back to LA. Bette and Tina adopt six kids from six different countries, including Max's baby. They go on to live boringly ever after. Max grows an even bigger beard and joins the Michigan Militia. Carmen comes back and marries Shane. They take Jenny to the ocean, throw her to the sharks and then float away on a raft. Final scene: Carmen and Jenny look up into the sky and see a rainbow in which Dana's ghost appears.

Elizabeth Koke’s Wishlist:

1. The return of Molly, and the reunion of Molly and Shane, truths revealed, hearts touched. 2. I want Tina and Bette to get their baby from Marcie (Eva Amurri)'s sexy, troubled womb. 3. For Jamie and Tasha and Alice to realize that 3 doesn't have to be a crowd!

Julia’s Wishlist:

Penniless after moving to New York and promptly losing their jobs, Bette and Tina start a lesbian commune upstate; Angelica is raised by wolves leather bears. After Tasha runs off with Jamie, Alice turns to old flame Uta for comfort and gets more than she bargained for when she wakes up an honest to god vampire. Max’s newborn baby is kidnapped by Kelly Wentworth, who turns out to secretly be a baby-eating demon. After defeating the Kelly Demon and rescuing Max’s kid, Kit and Sunset decide to fight crime together as superheroes; they hire Max as their “Alfred.” Helena and Dylan, along with Molly and Shane, live humpily ever after. After her death is ruled a suicide, Jenny rises from the dead as a zombie, and the only line of dialogue we ever have to hear from her again is: “Braaaiins!”

But more importantly, what do you want to see happen tonight? How would you wrap it all up, if it were up to you?

in-bed-with-the-cast.jpg



Comments [134]

Not2Taem's picture

I haven't been able to find

I haven't been able to find the pre-show anywhere. Damn Daylight Saving Time! Laughing out loud

Grace Moon's picture

that is an insightful

that is an insightful comment.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

Wednesday night mixers at the

Wednesday night mixers at the White House with Rachel shaking up Jack Rose while laying out a plan for equality. Somebody bump the AC, its getting hot in here.

Not2Taem's picture

Theme song? In a cabin in a

Theme song?

In a cabin in a wood,
Hot little lez by window stood
making eyes at me.

"Help me, help me Mam," she said,
and to her puss my hand she led,
moaning now with glee. Wink

Not2Taem's picture

Think you could work that

Think you could work that into the Log Cabin Lez movie? Small town out of the way girl bars can be the most amusing places. Wink

Not2Taem's picture

Naughty night? Sadly not. :(

Naughty night? Sadly not. Sad

peacekitty's picture

Preach!

Preach!

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

peacekitty's picture

Oh there's no doubt we could

Oh there's no doubt we could write a great one. We could even copy and paste one of our conversations from VP and send it in as a teleplay. It would be more interesting than some of what we've seen on tv.

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Not2Taem's picture

I don't know, but the

I don't know, but the screwier this show gets, the more I feel like I can meld people I know around here into the craziest parts. Its kind of disturbing. I can't help wondering if some fragile lady somewhere is wishing she hadn't opened up over at OC.

Not2Taem's picture

It's a cheap way for I lean

It's a cheap way for I lean to fill in the blanks without having to fill out any plot lines.

Kel's picture

(Sorry on hindsight, I was

(Sorry on hindsight, I was rather insensitive. Too shocked that's why.)

Sorry. Sad

Julia Watson's picture

I'll wait for my full report

I'll wait for my full report until tomorrow's recap. Plus, Amy and Elizabeth and I are supposed to do an L Word wrap-up podcast this week. I'm sure we'll have plenty to talk about! Looking forward to dissecting all of this with the two of them and all of you guys!

Julia Watson's picture

I figure at least the

I figure at least the Tibetters have to be a little happy after tonight, though. They got a pretty decent sex scene (even I thought it had its moments), plus sweet nothing snugglies and a marriage proposal in the afterglow...

itty's picture

Yes Julia... Thank you. It

Yes Julia...
Thank you.

It turned out to be more entertaining than the finale!

Julia Watson's picture

LB, thanks to you and

LB, thanks to you and everybody else who showed up and chimed in. As frustrating an ending as this was to a show I love, it was awesome to share this night with you guys!

Julia Watson's picture

Thanks, LB! I didn't see you

Thanks, LB! I didn't see you had embedded this here. Right on!

Okay, first off. Yuck. Why in the hell do we need to know this information, especially NOW of all times? Second? If Tina has never even felt okay enough to share this information with Bette, what in the hell would possess her to talk about this on TAPE in a situation like this with total strangers? It's not like something like this would ever in a million years come up in terms of perjury or whatnot. This is pure shock factor silliness at this point in the game. Ick.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Julia.......... You have been

Julia.......... You have been an awesome hostess for tonight's ignominious show / season finale. Thank you for the invitation. Smile

Kel's picture

Oh my god her sister...

Oh my god her sister... Sad

I'll be gentle with that, but Ilene's so messed up I don't know what her motivations are with the back story. Now I wish I haven't watched that. There're some things that we don't want to know.

Lezbeth's picture

Mine too.

Mine too.

Julia Watson's picture

I know, we gotta get crackin'

I know, we gotta get crackin' again. I miss our ironically dead lesbians.

Robin Rigby's picture

Well, if I could ever manage

Well, if I could ever manage to drag Julia out of Southcabumfuck San Diego to my place here in the center of town we might be able to get back to work on our cabin in the woods lesbian movie script. Hint, hint Julia.

Lezbeth's picture

See my comment below...this

See my comment below...this does happen.

Kel's picture

We must cross with "the West

We must cross with "the West Wing"!!!

Rachel Maddow will be President, and Bette can remain her Senator or Secretary of State (whatever).

minniesota's picture

Ohhhh, I'll have to watch it

Ohhhh, I'll have to watch it again to catch the exact line. It is when she is talking with Shane.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Julia Watson's picture

My sentiments exactly. :(

My sentiments exactly. Sad

Lezbeth's picture

I was wondering the same

I was wondering the same thing about these interrogation tapes. Maybe it's just Lucy Lawless' morbid fascination with lezzies....

deedee's picture

What a TERRIBLE ending to a

What a TERRIBLE ending to a once GREAT show.

But I will miss it .

minniesota's picture

Haha. Yes, Charlie's Angels

Haha. Yes, Charlie's Angels and Rachel Maddow can play Charlie. I'll be Bosley. Whoodedo. Do we know Hollywood or what?

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Lezbeth's picture

Self-stim? Well, that's a

Self-stim? Well, that's a good way to pass the time...

Robin Rigby's picture

Okay it was utterly

Okay it was utterly ridiculous the way that the show ended but clearly...

Those of you in Hawaii, Alaska, etc who haven't seen it yet- stop reading!

Bette pushed Schecter off the balcony. I mean, come on. After she comes back downstairs she says she hasn't seen Jenny yet. And they repeat her "complex, complicated" spiel only in extreme closeup and with Bette looking decidedly nervous.

Then they all cover for her (or each other if they don't know who did it) in the cop interviews.

Here's the thing that made me want to throw something at my TV (Damn, that would've given me an excuse to buy a new HDTV.)- that fucking ending. I realize it was a take off on the opening credits but really? They're all walking into the police station with big ass grins on their faces? Weird, weird, weird.

Julia Watson's picture

We'll see what we can do! It

We'll see what we can do! It depends on what we can find online.

Kel's picture

Wait... What? Did I get Tina

Wait... What? Did I get Tina wrong? She hooked up with her sister?

minniesota's picture

Now THAT is some back story.

Now THAT is some back story. Can you say, "therapy?"

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Tex's picture

Julia, are you going to post

Julia, are you going to post both parts of 608 here on Vp? Thanks...

Twitter Time @kdhales

Julia Watson's picture

Yonks, MegaVideo should have

Yonks, MegaVideo should have it up tomorrow. Kelly has been embedding their feed into my recap blogs each week, so you can probably watch it right here tomorrow afternoon!

Lezbeth's picture

This must be the way to fill

This must be the way to fill in the back story every one was wanting to know--where's tina's family? why haven't we seen her parents? yada da yada da... Aren't you glad you asked?

BTW, I know of a situation like this between sisters. It's a heavy, difficult big deal for those involved. And it does happen...

Let's be gentle with our sisters here. Someone may have experienced this and it's quite difficult and complicated.

yonks's picture

Gahhh! i can't find no were

Gahhh! i can't find no were on the net the last episode!!!

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Kelly's picture

Her sister!? WTF? Why do

Her sister!? WTF?

Why do people always make Texas sound so terrible?

Tex's picture

Yikes, for sure! I guess a

Yikes, for sure! I guess a bunch of people are happy that they finally know about Tina's past.....a born again in Texas, huh? That was, well, what did all that have to do with Jenny's demise?

Twitter Time @kdhales

Kel's picture

Yes! Ditto on Jane Lynch.

Yes! Ditto on Jane Lynch. She's a Lawyer who'll frequently meet Helena and Tasha on their "cases". Laughing out loud How cool would that be?

2 Without a trace / Cold case as well, and I agree with Charlie's Angels! (Who's the 3rd Angel?)

So Jane = Charlie, Helena Tasha Dana (alright, Jenny can hook up with Sounder in heaven)

Julia Watson's picture

The first of the

The first of the Interrogation Tapes, featuring Tina (and an incredibly squicky confession on her part) is up over at: http://www.sho.com/site/lword/interrogation.do

Thanks for the heads up, LBD!

Kel's picture

CSI meets Without a trace

CSI meets Without a trace meets Cold case meets Law & Order meets NYPD Blue meets Moonlighting meets Charlie’s Angels meets L Word... (Too long, not?)

Not2Taem's picture

I got bored and it popped

I got bored and it popped into my wee little brain during the self-stim. Wink

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Hey Minns, you

Hey Minns, you forgot.......... 'Charlie's Angels'.

Lezbeth's picture

Yep, you saw the same thing I

Yep, you saw the same thing I did.

Lezbeth's picture

Yep, not even enough to fully

Yep, not even enough to fully remember....

Love your name tonight.

Kelly's picture

So i work the grave yard

So i work the grave yard shift, and i woke up extra early just to watch this episode. What the hell, i want my two extra hours of sleep back.

This last season has been pretty bad, but this!? No fucking ending in a series finale! What the hell were they thinking!? 71 hours of my time wasted. Although some (my employer) would like to think my time is not worth shit, i disagree! There are so many better things i could have done with that 71 hours.

Robin Rigby's picture

I was about to ask you to

I was about to ask you to make sure we get to keep the porn and then you went and beat me to it. Smile

Tex's picture

Minnie, I haven't seen it yet

Minnie, I haven't seen it yet - no puppy? I guess we went through all the crapola with Kelly and the art studio, and Bette didn't get her Kiki Smith "Fawn" print back either?

Twitter Time @kdhales

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Julia.........the

Julia.........the 'Interrogation Tapes' are up at www.sho.com
So Bette WASN'T Tina's first. Her own SISTER was........yikes.

**you do not need to sign in to view the 'tapes'**