Happily Never Afters

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Happily Never Afters

Can’t make it to one of the official L Word finale watching parties? Never fear! You’re invited to the official Velvetpark “It’s been one ‘L’ of run” viewing shindig! Check back here at 9 p.m. Eastern time to sound off about the finale. I’ll be here commenting while I watch, along with a few of our other bloggers. I know it’s rough, the show ending and all, but between the lot of us, I think we can lesbian process our way through it.

Meanwhile, I can’t be the only one nursing a sinking feeling that we won’t be getting answers to all of our burning questions tonight, but dagnabbit, a girl can dream. So I’ve decided to share my wishlist of what I’d like to see happen tonight and I asked a few of my fellow pop culture aficionados here at Velvetpark to chime in, too:

Amy Nicole Miller’s Wishlist:

Tasha and Alice decide, instead of breaking up, they should just have a three-some w/Jamie. Alice goes on to star in her own TV talk show, Tasha shaves her head and wears a tank top every day while working as Alice's houseboy. Helena's lover from prison shows up at Hit and they decide to move back to that island together. Kit comes out of the closet and calls up that drag king with the long hair to move back to LA. Bette and Tina adopt six kids from six different countries, including Max's baby. They go on to live boringly ever after. Max grows an even bigger beard and joins the Michigan Militia. Carmen comes back and marries Shane. They take Jenny to the ocean, throw her to the sharks and then float away on a raft. Final scene: Carmen and Jenny look up into the sky and see a rainbow in which Dana's ghost appears.

Elizabeth Koke’s Wishlist:

1. The return of Molly, and the reunion of Molly and Shane, truths revealed, hearts touched. 2. I want Tina and Bette to get their baby from Marcie (Eva Amurri)'s sexy, troubled womb. 3. For Jamie and Tasha and Alice to realize that 3 doesn't have to be a crowd!

Julia’s Wishlist:

Penniless after moving to New York and promptly losing their jobs, Bette and Tina start a lesbian commune upstate; Angelica is raised by wolves leather bears. After Tasha runs off with Jamie, Alice turns to old flame Uta for comfort and gets more than she bargained for when she wakes up an honest to god vampire. Max’s newborn baby is kidnapped by Kelly Wentworth, who turns out to secretly be a baby-eating demon. After defeating the Kelly Demon and rescuing Max’s kid, Kit and Sunset decide to fight crime together as superheroes; they hire Max as their “Alfred.” Helena and Dylan, along with Molly and Shane, live humpily ever after. After her death is ruled a suicide, Jenny rises from the dead as a zombie, and the only line of dialogue we ever have to hear from her again is: “Braaaiins!”

But more importantly, what do you want to see happen tonight? How would you wrap it all up, if it were up to you?

in-bed-with-the-cast.jpg



Comments [134]

Tex's picture

Now that was hot!

Now that was hot!

Twitter Time @kdhales

minniesota's picture

Pitch, longer than 10 words:

Pitch, longer than 10 words: CSI meets Law & Order meets NYPD Blue meets Moonlighting meets L Word. We MUST sign Jane Lynch.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

TiBetter's are verrrrrrrrrrry

TiBetter's are verrrrrrrrrrry sensitive girls.
Don't e-v-e-n ask........ Laughing out loud

It's best if I'm incognito right now............
Trouble? Me? Shock

Julia Watson's picture

Which line did you like so

Which line did you like so much?

Julia Watson's picture

It's all in the wielding of

It's all in the wielding of same, my love. Wink

Julia Watson's picture

I would have been so happy

I would have been so happy with an hour of soft core porn instead of another ten or so loose ends and no knot in sight. Sigh.

Julia Watson's picture

I'm still gunning for the old

I'm still gunning for the old timey lesbian radio show...

Julia Watson's picture

"Was it all just a teaser for

"Was it all just a teaser for a new series that may or may not materialize?"

Therein lies my stupefaction with this whole thing, too. I think they're NUTS to have left it like this.

Julia Watson's picture

Why are you on thin ice with

Why are you on thin ice with your peeps? You been bein' troubly, Miss Trouble With a Capital 'T'?

Julia Watson's picture

Okay, I have to hear all

Okay, I have to hear all about the near riot at the lezzie bar. We must discuss...

Julia Watson's picture

Brilliant. I love it!

Brilliant. I love it! Everything except #12, to which I can only shriek and flee in horror.

yonks's picture

yea fuckin' L.A

yea fuckin' L.A

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Not2Taem's picture

If it was as much of a snooze

If it was as much of a snooze fest as tonight, you must be very well rested.

minniesota's picture

I met Elizabeth Keener after

I met Elizabeth Keener after our team won the BE SCENE contest. The prize was a meet and greet with Ilene Chaiken and some of the cast. Elizabeth Keener was so friendly and funny. I told her, "Thanks for creating such an annoying character."

I was exhausted so went back to my hotel room as soon as they kicked us out of the meet and greet room. But some of my teammates hung out with Keener for a while afterward. They said she was fabulous.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Conlite's picture

Ha!

Ha!

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Well, she was eating

Well, she was eating something......but, it wasn't popcorn. :razz:

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Lezbeth's picture

It wasn't a wet dream, but I

It wasn't a wet dream, but I did dream about JB last night.

Lezbeth's picture

What the hell was Russell

What the hell was Russell Simmons doing on the retrospective? Did I miss something along the way here? I loved the way the actors pointed out some of the plot holes. It's great to hear them speak about their dedication to the show

I found the ending an interesting tangle of the previous S6 episodes. There was no way to tie it up in a neat little package...I also like the suggestion that Nikki was somehow implicated in Jenny's death. As much as I've criticized this show, it's sad to think that we don't have anything to give us a reflection of lesbian life, for us to see ourselves (or some cartoon of us) on tv.

Also, it appears they're going to squeak stuff out on showtime over the next few weeks (probably to keep everyone from canceling their subscriptions tomorrow).

Xanadu's picture

The sad thing is ... We WILL

The sad thing is ... We WILL flock to the L Word movie and watch the web-a-sodes!

... Though, I haven't joined the Showtime site out of sheer principle (and loyalty to VP) ...

minniesota's picture

I am hearing the theme song

I am hearing the theme song of the Sopranos right now. You crack me up.

Hey, did Itty have enough popcorn during the episode?

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

I love.........'happy

I love.........'happy endings'. Wink

Kent's picture

Minnie...everyone...I just

Minnie...everyone...I just finished the episode...I'm stupefied, bewildered, dumbfounded....what happened? Why weren't we given closure? Was it all just a teaser for a new series that may or may not materialize? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????

(aside to Minnie, please tell the Keener/Dinah story! )

OMFG, that's what six seasons led too?? Seriously?!

Kel's picture

There you go

There you go minniesota:

L-cops - a parody of "lesbians-in-the-real-world" but with a happy ending.

Smile

Xanadu's picture

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

Not2Taem's picture

Finally! Something with a

Finally! Something with a realistic plot.
Laughing out loud

LongBeachDogLover's picture

I double dog dare you to do

I double dog dare you to do it !! But hey, I'm on shaky ground with most TiBetter's myself right about now !! Laughing out loud

For some reason I can't sign in @ www.TiBette.com Laughing out loud

I don't think I'll be starting my car for the next few days. Shock
**maybe I should have never watched the Soprano's**

Not2Taem's picture

Watch the railings over there

Watch the railings over there LB.

minniesota's picture

Kel, you condense that into a

Kel, you condense that into a 10-word pitch and we'll sell it! Yowsa. Laughing out loud

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Not2Taem's picture

Sweetie, it was ALL negative!

Sweetie, it was ALL negative! Sad

Not2Taem's picture

Not

Not

Not2Taem's picture

I got one for my sis in the

I got one for my sis in the 70's. She looked at me like I had 3 heads.

Kel's picture

To heck with the Farm. Let's

To heck with the Farm. Let's have L-cops! Theme song is Lollipop by Mika.

1. Helena and Tasha will be cops (main characters), fighting crime in crazy NY.
2. Bette becomes a sexy senator for NY (replacing Hillary Clinton).
3. Tina becomes a director (replacing Ilene Chaiken).
4. Alice will be a comedian ala Ellen style. She'll host a series called the "celebrity apprentice".
5. (Where Jamie will be a participant to help homeless GLBTQ kids.)
6. (and Dylan will film the series and Max shall be tech support.)
7. Molly will be a political commentator and have her own show - the Molly Krall show. She'll invite her Joyce and her mom as guests to "talk her down" on various issues.
8. Shane will be a celebrity hairdresser and hook up with many closeted celebrities.
9. Lara will join Top Chef and win.
10. Kit shall be teh Oprah. Looking after Angie, Marci's baby, Max's baby, Helena's children and Shane's brother. She'll be with Sunset Boulevard who continues to be a drag queen.
11. Nikki will hook up with Carmen and follow Carmen on her DJ gigs all over US / Europe / Dubai. She'll release a line of leggings (which will sell really well btw).
12. Jenny will hook up with Dana in Heaven.

Every week, there’ll be a crime, and the ladies will work together to solve them!

Not2Taem's picture

I think you would do better

I think you would do better with Apple Jack for this one. Rachel, emergency bar tending needed on Ilene aisle 6!

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Do they make those,really ??

Do they make those,really ?? It sounds pretty. Laughing out loud

Not2Taem's picture

itty, Unfortunately, I

itty,
Unfortunately, I believe this may be the most entertaining thing any of us will watch this evening.

peacekitty's picture

Hey julia what did you think

Hey julia what did you think of this odd ending that looked like it was supposed to be left open for amovie or something but the actors at the beginning made it sound like it was definitely over for good. it was pieced together so strangely...which left too way many holes and plot danglers.

everyone please let me know what you all think cause im at a loss. I thought the actors all did a great job but wow what a mess.

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

itty's picture

Dam...there's one with a beer

Dam...there's one with a beer opener!!!
Now you tell me...
**Returning the pearl inlay**
Laughing out loud

Not2Taem's picture

I think its only femme if its

I think its only femme if its the limited edition with the pearl inlay cross and the nail ensemble. Definitely not if it is the one with the beer opener.

Not2Taem's picture

Glow in the dark rainbow

Glow in the dark rainbow swords?

*said in a squeaky 13 year old sleep over voice*

Not2Taem's picture

Oh yeah. You have to go to

Oh yeah. You have to go to SnowTime.com for that.

Ending? There was no beginning or middle. Let's face it ladies, there was NO season. I also missed all but the last minute of the recap due to daylight savings time. Somehow, I don't anticipate a huge call for reruns.

Too disenfranchised to be disappointed.

minniesota's picture

LBDL, would you hate me if I

LBDL, would you hate me if I sent this letter:

Dear Crazy Tibetters,

I can finally say it. KISS MY GRITS.

~Minnie

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Amy Nicole Miller's picture

worst. episode. ever. there

worst. episode. ever. there was almost a riot at the lezzie bar! WTF was that?
i'm so happy to have my sunday nights back!

LongBeachDogLover's picture

I better go to

I better go to www.TiBette.com and see if any of my girls have committed suicide..... Laughing out loud

I'll take a deep breath, and behave like a 'normal' TiBetter. Like it's just any other day in TiBetteville ........."Hi girls, did anyone have a wet dream about Bette or Tina today?" Then they'll systematically skewer me alive..... Shock

If you never hear from me again, I was stuffed like a Thanksgiving Day turkey by girls who no longer have any reason to live.....

minniesota's picture

Kent, no Dawn Dembo. Sad

Kent, no Dawn Dembo. Sad face. I met Elizabeth Keener at The Dinah last April. She was fab.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

minniesota's picture

Hahaha, LBDL, I love your

Hahaha, LBDL, I love your passion. I think I, Julia, PK, RobinR and few others could write our own rather cool lezzie series.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Rusty's picture

I didn't watch, but it sounds

I didn't watch, but it sounds like no resolution? I'm shocked, shocked. I'm still waiting for the end of Girl Trash .

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

LongBeachDogLover's picture

This shit just ain't

This shit just ain't right.

Ilene, read my lips.......... eat shit, and die.

** I DO NOT advocate violence against ANY executive producers ** Laughing out loud

Julia Watson's picture

The writing was actually

The writing was actually better than I expected, especially the first half hour. But there was no ending! It just cuts off...

So frustrating!

minniesota's picture

Okay, maybe I can bring a

Okay, maybe I can bring a knife. Smile.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.