Happily Never Afters

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Happily Never Afters

Can’t make it to one of the official L Word finale watching parties? Never fear! You’re invited to the official Velvetpark “It’s been one ‘L’ of run” viewing shindig! Check back here at 9 p.m. Eastern time to sound off about the finale. I’ll be here commenting while I watch, along with a few of our other bloggers. I know it’s rough, the show ending and all, but between the lot of us, I think we can lesbian process our way through it.

Meanwhile, I can’t be the only one nursing a sinking feeling that we won’t be getting answers to all of our burning questions tonight, but dagnabbit, a girl can dream. So I’ve decided to share my wishlist of what I’d like to see happen tonight and I asked a few of my fellow pop culture aficionados here at Velvetpark to chime in, too:

Amy Nicole Miller’s Wishlist:

Tasha and Alice decide, instead of breaking up, they should just have a three-some w/Jamie. Alice goes on to star in her own TV talk show, Tasha shaves her head and wears a tank top every day while working as Alice's houseboy. Helena's lover from prison shows up at Hit and they decide to move back to that island together. Kit comes out of the closet and calls up that drag king with the long hair to move back to LA. Bette and Tina adopt six kids from six different countries, including Max's baby. They go on to live boringly ever after. Max grows an even bigger beard and joins the Michigan Militia. Carmen comes back and marries Shane. They take Jenny to the ocean, throw her to the sharks and then float away on a raft. Final scene: Carmen and Jenny look up into the sky and see a rainbow in which Dana's ghost appears.

Elizabeth Koke’s Wishlist:

1. The return of Molly, and the reunion of Molly and Shane, truths revealed, hearts touched. 2. I want Tina and Bette to get their baby from Marcie (Eva Amurri)'s sexy, troubled womb. 3. For Jamie and Tasha and Alice to realize that 3 doesn't have to be a crowd!

Julia’s Wishlist:

Penniless after moving to New York and promptly losing their jobs, Bette and Tina start a lesbian commune upstate; Angelica is raised by wolves leather bears. After Tasha runs off with Jamie, Alice turns to old flame Uta for comfort and gets more than she bargained for when she wakes up an honest to god vampire. Max’s newborn baby is kidnapped by Kelly Wentworth, who turns out to secretly be a baby-eating demon. After defeating the Kelly Demon and rescuing Max’s kid, Kit and Sunset decide to fight crime together as superheroes; they hire Max as their “Alfred.” Helena and Dylan, along with Molly and Shane, live humpily ever after. After her death is ruled a suicide, Jenny rises from the dead as a zombie, and the only line of dialogue we ever have to hear from her again is: “Braaaiins!”

But more importantly, what do you want to see happen tonight? How would you wrap it all up, if it were up to you?

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Comments [134]

Grace Moon's picture

okay I didn't watch it... so

okay I didn't watch it... so i'm waiting for the recap!

i guess it was a downer... was that an understatement?

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Caramelteddy's picture

i have a few swords ;)

i have a few swords Wink

Caramelteddy's picture

was i the only one going

was i the only one going "wtf" throughout this whole episode? that's an hour of my life that i can't get ever get back. i am still totally grateful that the creators, cast, and crew brought something lesbian to the airwaves that was not entirely soft core porn. now i long for someone to bring something lesbian of Quality to the airwaves....although let's not be so hasty as to leave out the soft core porn.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

I've got a swiss army knife,

I've got a swiss army knife, I think that's what you call 'um.
Can you tell I'm a femme?? Laughing out loud

Julia Watson's picture

Okay, I thought the knife was

Okay, I thought the knife was hot...

Julia Watson's picture

WTF? Okay, did I fall asleep

WTF?

Okay, did I fall asleep and miss the end? Did I warp to another universe and miss it?

There was an ending, wasn’t there?

Wasn’t there?!

(Maybe Jenny stole the negative to that, too…)

minniesota's picture

Dear Helena, You can find me

Dear Helena,

You can find me here at velvetpark media. I promise not to lay a knife on you.

Hopeful, Minnie

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

What a fucked up ending. What

What a fucked up ending. What a bunch of bullshit.
Now I see what was wrong with this fucked up last episode.....

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY : Ilene (be sure to watch my L Word movie in a theatre near you) Chaiken
FUCK ILENE, HARD and DRY..........

**now, let's all remember to go watch the "web-a-sodes" called the interrogation tapes, if you want answers**

Yeah,right.

minniesota's picture

I applaud Mia Kirshner for

I applaud Mia Kirshner for her acting and making me hate Crazy Jenny. Kisses to Mia.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

minniesota's picture

Hahaha. My wireless

Hahaha. My wireless disconnected the last five minutes. Dang technology!

No puppy. Sad face. I hate you, Ilene. J/K. XO

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Jenny's on the balcony with

Jenny's on the balcony with Bette.........KILL HER BETTE !!!!!!

OMG, lesbian drama........I think I'm going straight. Smile

peacekitty's picture

my friends say "hi

my friends say "hi everybody!" so what was up with dylena and the knife?? ilene is addicted teen drama. sheesh why could angela robinson direct the last two episodes? ilene can't write a healthy relatioship to save her life.

sorry ilene. you rock but please leave the storytelling to someone else unless you're writing a cheesy teen angst series. xoxo pk

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

itty's picture

NO PUPPY. Perhaps a

NO PUPPY.

Perhaps a goldfish?

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Uh oh.......... Angie just

Uh oh.......... Angie just called Kit's boy toy "Daddy". Yikes.

Bad Angie, she get's NO puppy.........

**Oopps........SPOILER ALERT** Laughing out loud

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Who's gonna fall off the

Who's gonna fall off the "balcony/stair" thingy?? Bette and Tina have mentioned that 'railing' too many times......

Me smells a smelly rat in lesboville..... Laughing out loud

minniesota's picture

OMG, Alice just said the best

OMG, Alice just said the best line of hers EVER. I won't repeat for those not seeing it yet.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

minniesota's picture

Me too. Was than an homage to

Me too. Was than an homage to Basic Instinct?

IC, is Angelica going to get her puppy?????

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Why is Dylan always on top ??

Why is Dylan always on top ?? Laughing out loud

That knife scared me..... Shock

minniesota's picture

Definitely! My whole lesbian

Definitely! My whole lesbian life is flashing before me. Hah.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Julia Watson's picture

If the first five minutes are

If the first five minutes are any indication, this episode is CHOCK FULL of lesbian processing!

Julia Watson's picture

We have a bottle of red zin

We have a bottle of red zin open. Mmm.

minniesota's picture

I'm opening up the wine now.

I'm opening up the wine now. Enjoy watching with your friends, PK.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

peacekitty's picture

hi julia, hi ladies. :)

hi julia, hi ladies. Smile sitting here with 8 of my friends watching the pre-show. nice show and interviews. when hilary rosen said how sad she is that the show is ending "T" said, ""well if it was written well it could have been on another two years". okay its about to start back later!

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

itty's picture

Sounds like you've covered

Sounds like you've covered all the bases Minnie...
Cheers!!!!

Julia Watson's picture

Okay, watchin' a little bit

Okay, watchin' a little bit of the retrospective special. And now I totally want to know what the character of Alice was supposed to be like before they cast Leisha...

minniesota's picture

Yikes, I got busy and forgot

Yikes, I got busy and forgot the review of past seasons was on here at 7 p.m.

::goes to turn on Showtime::

::checks to see if the wine is chilled::

::checks to see if snacks are ready::

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Julia Watson's picture

Ha ha! Maybe Denbo killed

Ha ha! Maybe Denbo killed Jenny!

Julia Watson's picture

Is it THAT obvious that I was

Is it THAT obvious that I was watching Buffy today while I wrote my list?

Yeah, I watch TLW with my pal Kimberly at her place (long live lesbo night!), and she gets Showtime Eastern. We are looking forward to a very convivial evening.

minniesota's picture

I would love to see Dawn

I would love to see Dawn Denbo because Elizabeth Keener cracks me up.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Robin Rigby's picture

Julia, is that your L Word

Julia, is that your L Word finale wish list or your lesbian Buffy wish list?

Oh, and don't you watch the east coast feed of Showtime? Guess I won't be tuning in here since TWC doesn't let me watch Showtime East. Bastards. Besides I may be downtown meeting Top Chef Jamie!

Kent's picture

Julia - that's me and a plus

Julia - that's me and a plus one (hope springs eternal) for your online finale party!

Your finale "wish list" is a MASTERPIECE! Although...am I alone in wishing for one last appearance by Dawn Denbo? Crying at the bottom of a staircase for her lover Cindy?

yonks's picture

I would love to be there with

I would love to be there with you but i have to go out to watch a movie.
http://encirclement.info/synopsis.html
Its a big hit in montreal

but i will jump on my computer right after Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Zara Thustra's picture

"bada bing"! crap, minnie.

"bada bing"! crap, minnie. you so funny.

bette and tina get engaged, because monogamy rocks (feck you silly poly queers!).

alice dumps tasha because she's just so frakkin superior. then she goes to jail and meets katee sackhoff and they have a hot affair.

jenny fakes her death.

as for the rest, who cares? oh, i hope shane contracts a std and dies. .... yeah, that too.

minniesota's picture

What do I want to happen? I

What do I want to happen?

I end up with Carmen AND Helena.

Bada bing.

Julia, I'll be pouring the wine and online during the finale. XO

Still searching for the right brainy quote.