How Do You Feel about Fisting?

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How Do You Feel about Fisting?

On Fisting and Being Afraid to do things.

Haiku on Masturbating All Night.

If I were braver
I'd call you/leave a message
to say I'm coming.

Is this an appropriate question for a first date? Should I make a U-turn with my U-haul and drive away? And is that shit even possible? What if a dyke has really big hands? Or a really small twat? And what about fingernails?

Fisting is a term that people whip out at house parties when they want to seem daring or they want to shock straight women or freak out straight men. But what exactly is this phenomenon? My nerdy inclinations send me scurrying to the dictionary.

Fisting: Vulgar. To insert the fist into the rectum or vagina of (another) as a means of sexual stimulation.

This is the definition given by the American Heritage Dictionary. Note the opening label of vulgar and the parentheses around (another) i.e. one does not fist oneself. And I wasn’t even aware that the term included my asshole! A whole palm curled into a fist and shoved up my poopie-hole? Yikes! Now don’t get me wrong; I like pushing the boundaries. Tie me up, spank me, suspend me from a fully stacked bookshelf — I am no coward when it comes to attempting the ridiculous. But I worry about breaking things that won’t work the same ever again. Especially things that have multiple functions!

Usually, when I hear the term uttered, I listen and nod supportively, but this comprehensive definition is forcing me to come out of the I-am-only-comfortable-with-slender-things-like-fingers-in-my-asshole-closet. Perhaps if I did not need that particular opening for getting rid of that icky stuff that would kill me if it remained inside of me, I would let you grease your elbows and work a bowling ball into my rectum. But as things stand, I am a little dubious.

But back to the vagina — which denotes the typical locale of the lesbian fisting that I have heard being discussed at most house parties. The details of vaginal fisting make me anxious — and, pray tell, when exactly is it prudent to raise the subject? Should it wait until after we have had our sexual encounter? Or should we discuss it before, to prevent any awkward moments during lesbo-coitus? I suppose we shouldn’t be discussing it for the first time with my dilated sphincter wrapped desperate around your wrist. The last woman who popped



Comments [97]

Erin Blackwell's picture

the best thing about being

the best thing about being offline for a few days?

KIMCHI & FISTING, the new gastroerotic fusion

Not2Taem's picture

Can we call it Embracing

Can we call it Embracing Grace?

*said with much love and respect*

Erin Blackwell's picture

i'm not ready to embrace

i'm not ready to embrace Grace quite so profoundly

Not2Taem's picture

LOL What a pickle!

LOL
What a pickle!

deedee's picture

You call me what ever the

You call me what ever the FUCK you want to,but nobody's fist goes in my ass or up my ass .Or any place inside me I have spent too MANY YEARS WORKING in the OR (20)being called back all hours of the night to fix shit like this because ppl don't know what the hell they are doing.But if this is what you get into by all means please KNOW what the HELL you are doing when you do it to somebody.

minniesota's picture

Deedee, this reminds me of a

Deedee, this reminds me of a few stories my police officer brother told me about people who managed to stick things up their orifices and then got into trouble because of it...yowsa, what medical personnel and police officers learn about humanity!

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Xanadu's picture

DeeDee - I'm curious, do you

DeeDee - I'm curious, do you speak like this in the Operating Room? ... Kidding (sort of) Shock

yonks's picture

Only when the patient is

Only when the patient is asleep Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

deedee's picture

You made me smile Xanadu ,A

You made me smile Xanadu ,A woman's got to have a little fun .I am very professional in the O.R.Ppl that have to go in the O.R. have a hard enough time as it is,So I try to be very professional.

~gk's picture

I love this topic. And itt

I love this topic. And itt seems to always get a lot of activity on the board. I'm a lover of the fisting. I lose my mind, it's such wonderful surrender. I guess if I had never done it I might think it would be too much...BUT it's kind of like when you're getting fucked really good and you say you want a little more, and a little more and you just keep opening up until, well... you're fisting. Easy peasy. Wink

Xanadu's picture

I find 'female products'

I find 'female products' uncomfortable ... TMI?, so I'm thinking this is out of the question Shock

... and when I have a baby, he/she/the twins :grin: are coming out via the tummy (not my precious vagina!)

chelilektra's picture

I'm a vulgar one, so I often

I'm a vulgar one, so I often have this conversation in bars. It's rather odd the various reactions/interactions/contributions that I've received as responses. I don't know if it's just my (rather young) circle of friends, or the "kind-of-girl" that gravitates to the femme capital of the world, but Los Angeles seems to be far more on the prudish side than the likes of folk in Lafayette, LA or Brooklyn.

Julia Watson's picture

I think Southern California

I think Southern California breeds 'em prudish. Yet another reason why I am importing a butch from Brooklyn.

Not2Taem's picture

I first read this as a bunch

I first read this as a bunch from Brooklyn.

*envisioning the bill of laying* :twisted:

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Julia........ I don't

Julia........ I don't agree.
But, you knew I'd say that. Laughing out loud

chelilektra's picture

Southern Hippie, but I'm

Southern Hippie, but I'm going to try (and probably succeed) to keep that clean.

Have your butch bring everyone she knows. Dry heat rules.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?

Xanadu's picture

:lol:

Laughing out loud

Tex's picture

Doods, if you liken a sex act

Doods, if you liken a sex act to having a baby then I'm thinking I'd take it off the list of to do's. I'm def not a prude - go with the flow so to speak and never say never so .....

Twitter Time @kdhales

Lake's picture

Really???? I like that

Really???? I like that "Never say Never" Smile

Lake

Grace Moon's picture

I think lesbians have to

I think lesbians have to really stop being so squeamish about what they will "do" and "not do" -- its so NOM to be uptight about one's or another's orifices.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

Grace, Reminding myself of

Grace,
Reminding myself of the nature of the person it is coming from and so fighting off the urge to address that NOM reference.

Yup! Yup! Putting a twist tie on my mouth.

Muuffemhumphee...

Robin Rigby's picture

I think that I understand

I think that I understand what you're getting at here Grace and I agree. I think we need to be open to the moment and as Staceyann seems to be saying- while she thinks she wouldn't want to be fisted she's also open to the possibility that there might be a situation where suddenly she finds herself wanting it. I've never had it done to me or been asked to do it or been in a situation where it might have come up but I certainly would not dismiss the idea outright. If my partner asked me to and the situation felt right and I thought I could do it without causing her injury then... Who's to say?

I think we should be open to other experiences than the ones we've had in the past and not limit ourselves to only certain women who want certain things. Until you've tried it how do you know you won't like it?

LongBeachDogLover's picture

"Until you’ve tried it how do

"Until you’ve tried it how do you know you won’t like it?"

Robin, I'd swear I've heard that line before.....

Oh yeah, all the straight guys who think because I haven't fucked a guy, I could be straight....afterall, how do I know I'm not, if I haven't tried it?

Robin Rigby's picture

And I would again say (as

And I would again say (as with the food analogy) that that's different. The straight guys who say those things assume that you just don't like dick and/or penetration and don't understand that being gay is only partially about what you like to do in the sack. You don't need to have sex with a man to know that you're gay. Plenty of lesbians, myself included, have had sex with men and we know we are gay but that doesn't mean that the straight sex was always awful. Sometimes it was fine, for sex, but it just wasn't 'right'.

FYI, I didn't actually say "How do you know you won't like it if you haven't tried it?" I said that I agree with Grace that saying you'll *never* do something is being close-minded because I can guarantee LB that there are things you once said you would *never* do that you have since done or possibly even do on a regular basis.

There's plenty of things that I've thought I would never want to do sexually that now I would consider, if the right woman asked me to. Smile

Robin Rigby's picture

Okay, my bad. When I went

Okay, my bad. When I went back to the earlier post I actually had said that. But I still maintain that both analogies that have been thrown out here to refute me are inadequate. What one likes or doesn't like to do with the sexual partner of their choice cannot be compared to sexual orientation or food. After all, fisting and lots of other sexual acts are not limited to either gays or straights.

I refer to Taem's comment above where she says she doesn't like to limit herself. Saying 'there's no way I'd ever engage in fisting' is limiting oneself. That's all I'm saying.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

"Saying ‘there’s no way I’d

"Saying ‘there’s no way I’d ever engage in fisting’ is limiting oneself."

I can tell you right now, there's no way I would ever 'engage' in fucking a guy. Am I limiting myself ? Some might say I am.....

Robin Rigby's picture

Okay. Done now. Go back to

Okay. Done now. Go back to my original comment and if you still insist on putting words in my mouth and misinterpreting everything I'm saying then I guess there's nothing more I can do or say. I'll even point you in the right direction- read the second sentence of my original comment about 'the moment'.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Was this in your 'original'

Was this in your 'original' comment? Following the comments, in order around here, is somewhat difficult.

"Until you’ve tried it how do you know you won’t like it?"

I didn't put those words in your mouth, or misinterpret them. They are, what they are....they are your words. If you feel that way, that's certainly your prerogative. But, I don't happen to agree.

Enough said.

yonks's picture

LOL excellent observation,

LOL excellent observation, I'v heard that one a couple of times too, and not only from straight guy mouth.

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Xanadu's picture

Funny you say that LongBeach

Funny you say that LongBeach Smile I heard that one over at AfterEllen ... from a couple of their presenters Shock (no less).

I can't tell you how offended and pissed off I was, that a couple of lesbians could think like that *grr*

The basis of their belief, seemed to be that 'gold stars' get some kind of special acclaim (in the community) ...

It made me think that they are more on the bisexual side, because they basically said "how would they even know for sure, if they haven't had it" :?: ... and implied that they wouldn't date a girl who isn't sexually fully 'evolved' :roll:

Trust me, I know.

K I T's picture

hi Xanadu you said [It made

hi Xanadu
you said [It made me think that they are more on the bisexual side, because they basically said “how would they even know for sure, if they haven’t had it”]

now i won't speak for all bisexuals, i will speak for my self...
I for one would never say or ask that to or at anyone
lesbian nor other wise

and why be surprised about the fact that a lesbian might say something like that? its a
some as defense mostly just like some bi etc people do say stuff like that to straight people to.

is this hole topic on here in cluding the starting post not about a different topic then fisting?
i think the topic is about respect .
i respect those who do/want to fist and whatever
and i respect those who don't /won't

p.s. for those who say never say never etc?
why ? is it because we are not allowed to be wrong and admit it?
if some one says i never... and at some point that is no longer valid (for what ever reason). Then the world does not end when that happens nor when one admits that and it just shows there human and that one /it can change ( can / not must / not should)

Not2Taem's picture

:D Never deny who you are,

Laughing out loud Never deny who you are, for you are truly amazing.

K I T's picture

hi Taem, think we all on here

hi Taem,
think we all on here are truly amazing
including you!

sometimes i think we are all of that (truly amazing)in a positive and sometimes in a more negative way?

at least i know that that goes for me.
see there is no denying in that?
winks

yonks's picture

But i still understand Xana

But i still understand Xana who's isolated from others lesbians, and when she goes on a dykes site, they give her advice to sleep with a man, thats must be very frustrating.

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

K I T's picture

hi Yonks lol maybe if one

hi Yonks
lol maybe if one not considers it as a advice but just as a brain fart maybe then one does not get that frustrated over it?
winks

if i would get upset by everything straight and lesbians have said /ad viced /preached to me ?
i mean the i will straighten you out or the i will turn you in to a real lesbian etc. things like that to me fall in the same category.

at some point i realized that there is no point in getting upset or frustrated about such things. and that don't mean that i can not or do not fall in to old habits, occasionally I do get frustrated / upset /sad / mad etc.
but overall this approach has indeed made my life easier

yonks's picture

I know that there's lots of

I know that there's lots of Bisexuals around, all very respectful and friendly, and Xana"s comment was maybe klutzy. But i don't think she made it with intension to harassment. She wanted to share her indignation and take this opportunity.
(but i don't want to speak in her name)

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

K I T's picture

lol think my comments sound

lol think my comments sound harsh today?
i doubt that she intended or meant it as a harassment to.

im sure she meant well

i think i better stay of commenting today be for i make a mess

lol

K I T's picture

hi Yonks, sometimes one has

hi Yonks,

sometimes one has to do the smart thing
meaning take a long deep breath
turn of the comp (or at least not read and comment that is)
because that is best at that moment for everyone.

and the best thing to do might not always be the easiest but if and when your lucky then
you do take action or perhaps it would be better to say not take action? lol
because it will prevent a little snowball from becoming an Avalanche

and yesterday despite all, i (for once) was smart?

winks

yonks's picture

Don't stay off commenting

Don't stay off commenting because of the mess Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

yonks's picture

Yea, open is the key word...

Yea, open is the key word...

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

Not2Taem's picture

I haven't tried kimcie (sp?)

I haven't tried kimcie (sp?) either, but I've seen it made and smelled it. Some folks love it. Good for them. It is not for me and I'm not about to put myself in a position that would cause me to barf all over the kitchen of someone I care for in order to prove it.

I think it is pretentious to say that all people should remain open to all things, especially if it is said in a way that makes it seem like you're a prude if you are not open to it. There is a lot to said for recognizing your personal needs and desires, and openly acknowledging them. I don't let the straight world tell me what to feel or desire. I'm not about to give this community that privilege either, no matter how much I may respect the members there of.

Erin Blackwell's picture

thanks for sticking up for

thanks for sticking up for prudes!

Not2Taem's picture

I will now consider myself in

I will now consider myself in excellent company. Smile

Off topic: Next weekend my friend is having a Yellow Polka Dot Bikini party. I happened to be passing the Mens Warehouse and decided to stop in on the off chance of finding a cute tie: black silk with varied sizes of yellow polka dots.

Goin' in style! Laughing out loud

Erin Blackwell's picture

that is SO EXCITING. LOVE

that is SO EXCITING. LOVE polka dots.

Grace Moon's picture

I'm totally offended by your

I'm totally offended by your kimchi reference. Ok because its you Tae, I'm not really mad, but I'm making my point anyway!

As a 1/4 Korean, Kim Chi is to rice as ketchup is to French Fries.

If you were sitting at a Korean BBQ full of hungry Kimchi lovers, and one of them offered you some Kimchi you'd probably try it.

Likewise if you were in bed with a fist loving lady, you'd probably offer yours if she asked or visa versa.

end of story.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

I wouldn't eat it once it had

I wouldn't eat it once it had completed the fermentation process, but I would gladly help make it and truly appreciate their enjoyment of it.

Likewise, if a lady asked me to fist her, I would decline and suggest something that I thought might be a viable alternative. If I was in bed with her, I'm going to bet that we would know each other well enough that individual comfort zones would be respected. I also acknowledge that if there came a point where it just wasn't going to work for her, if I could not meet her needs in a way that satisfied her, she would be free to move on to someone else for that aspect. I would hope that we could continue a loving and respectful relationship on a non-physical level.

That being said, I certainly have stepped outside my sexual comfort zone for someone I loved, with varying results. It is exactly that experience that has taught me that when your psyche fires a warning shot, you should pay heed. No one who truly cares for you wants to see you go through the after effects of sex gone seriously bad. Its our responsibility as individuals to find that line between a loving and trusting willingness to expand our sexual horizons, and taking care of our own personal needs. In a relationship built on mutual respect, it should be possible to do both.

Respectfully,
Tae

PS: I am 0/4 NOM, but because its you, Grace, I choose to let that one go, too. Laughing out loud

Grace Moon's picture

I have something to say about

I have something to say about the fermentation process.

cultures around the world eat fermented food as it aids in digestion. Wine and Beer before it was pasteurized and sulfided was an aid in digestion.

Pickles and pleasing women are important the world over.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

Grace, Are you fond of

Grace,

Are you fond of Chapchae? A friend of mine makes it with these wonderful homemade sweet potato noodles. Yum! I tried to make them once, but the noodles turned out like glue. I think it is something you have to grow up making with your very patient grandmother to get really good at.

Not2Taem's picture

LOL I'm probably going to

LOL
I'm probably going to have my membership revoked for admitting this, but I don't drink beer or wine either. Neither tastes good to me.

I do make a mean sour pickle and am always happy to share it with a willing woman. Laughing out loud