‘Cheek To Cheek’: Jammin’ with the One

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‘Cheek To Cheek’: Jammin’ with the One

The video clip of Glee star Amber Riley and her partner Derek Hough performing the Paso Doble on “Dancing with the Stars,” (Oct 29) spread like cyberfire on my Facebook and Tweeter feeds last week.

Like most, I watched the video rapt. Here was a full-figured black woman exerting powerful, graceful, technically perfect moves with attitude. As the judges held up their cards, my heart thundered before I shouted “ten!” Part of the success of shows like “Dancing With the Stars” hinges on the fact that beyond the rare ‘special occasion’ too many of us no longer dance. “Dancing With the Stars” sates our hunger to see stars in another, more personal light, and more importantly, feeds our fantasies about how we might groove—if we could. Single and coupled readers, here is your good news for the remaining weeks of 2013: You can dance. You don't even have to go out and spend money. Move the furniture. Dim the lights. Light a candle. Download Mary J. Blige or dust off Bobby Blue Bland. Simply take the lady or gentleman by the hand. Money can buy you many things, entrance into the new, swanky club, a whole lot of comfort, even peace of mind, but never intimacy. Though you’d never know it, canvasing the couples you know—ask your friends when they last danced with their significant others, or alone—dancing goes a long way in building and fortifying intimacy. And it’s fun.

Meet Camille and Joan; and Sean and Riley; and Bill and Nancy: Married couples who haven't danced since their wedding day. It shows in how they move in each other’s space, around their home. Nine times out of ten, these couples aren't the most fun to include in a dinner party because they lack that special vibe that exists between people who share an energy field beyond co-habiting, beyond sex. Somewhere between the duties we fulfill to each other as couples: cooking side-by-side, paying the bills side-by-side and making love, you find dancing, in many ways more liberating than the aforementioned because there is no expectation, no duty. Dancing with your mate yields a special energy exchange capable of enhancing connected communication.

A writer since childhood, I especially like that dancing requires no words, no verbal language, but rather a physical lexicon—saying something through movement—and like all creative acts, a sense of self. If my workday has an