“Love Is a Battlefield"; Or, How We’ve turned an 80’s Anthem into a Sorry Excuse for Mediocre Loving.

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“Love Is a Battlefield"; Or, How We’ve turned an 80’s Anthem into a Sorry Excuse for Mediocre Loving.

You’re probably wondering who in the world I am to give you lessons on love and life. But that’s because you’re being silly. I’m another human being, of course. And as such, I’m a prime resource for your learning.

The education is everywhere, as are the walls we build up against them—which are you searching for?

If you still need to see my credentials, items A and B—and even C—might be useful.

If you’re good to go, skip the links. Let’s start learning.

We’re all familiar with the above, correct?

We’ve all blasted it at great volumes while trying to pretend to ourselves that the bullsh*t relationship we’re enduring makes us feel strong and free as opposed to burdened and sad and in a perpetual state of longing for reciprocal methods of loving?

Oh, that last part was just me?

Well, let’s still check in a bit … you know … just for me. Just to be sure I’m not playing myself like a silly heaux.

PAUSE.
Before you become offended, understand that one of our greatest barriers to communication is the belief that we don’t understand one another. So if for some reason “silly heaux” confuses or upsets you, when you see “playing yourself like a silly heaux” (and you will because it’s my column and I love it) read: an incredibly accomplished and deserving woman settling for actions and behaviors that resemble those of a simple girl with very few standards for love, sexual intercourse, or basic human interaction; a woman teaching others that she accepts and condones multiple levels of disrespect.

Back to our check-in.

We are young

Heartache to heartache we stand

No promises

No demands

Love is a battlefield

From the very beginning this song is misleading. It’s fine for you to love it. It’s fine for you to sing it. But remember, we are what we continuously intake. So … repeating this while binge drinking and trying to avoid texting that particular loved one what you really feel will most likely only end in disaster. 

  1. Sure, we can be young. We can even both be broken. But no one, absolutely no one comes with no promises and no demands (don’t believe me? read this). Why would you ever do that? The very moment you enter into any sort of relationship with someone, you


Comments [6]

SillyBeagle's picture

Thank you.

This has been a very surreal, yet much needed reality check. 

Thank you.

kholi's picture

I'm so glad ...

it touched you. It means a lot that folks are in need of the words I need as well. Because I write it for you guys ... But so often it's a convo with myself. <3 Appreciate you.

SillyBeagle's picture

D'you mind...

If I print this out and keep it around as a 'handy reminder'? 

(hugs)

kholi's picture

Print it ...

share it ... post it everywhere. 

it may please you to know that the first book is actually a small "guide" ... so ... we're all on the same page with where it's going. <3

please, continue to share your thoughts as more writing comes. i'd greatly appreciate it.

kholi's picture

Marcie, thank you!

And thank everyone else for the support ... well, the FB and Twitter feedback! Can't wait until next week!

Marcie Bianco's picture

Prob the best thing I've read

Kholi, for a queer you're quite excellent at the straight talk.