“Love Is a Battlefield"; Or, How We’ve turned an 80’s Anthem into a Sorry Excuse for Mediocre Loving.

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“Love Is a Battlefield"; Or, How We’ve turned an 80’s Anthem into a Sorry Excuse for Mediocre Loving.

should – at minimum – come with a basic demand for respect and general concern and commitment to your happiness? Why, you ask? Why the f*ck not? Who wants to be involved with a miserable, self-centered individual with no real care as to how they interact with you, nor how they affect your feelings? There are like a gazillion lezzies in this world. And the number is growing. I know. I see them every day at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s and Planet Fitness. Find yourself one that actually likes you. It’s that simple.

  • LOVE IS NOT A BATTLEFIELD. A battle field is a place where, of course, a battle is being fought. It is a sphere of contention. So like … Appomattox was a battlefield. Most of West Africa during several civil wars? Battlefields. Iraq, Iran, Compton, Chicago, several blocks of South Philly (and a few other choice US areas)? Battlefields. Love? Well … not for me. And it shouldn’t be for you. But I suppose if you’re up for putting on a host of protective armor every day and having the person you give most of your time and intimate feelings to be your direct competition and enemy in life, then, yes, love could potentially be a battlefield.
  • In reality, love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. It’s “… a sexual passion or desire.” When personified, it’s “a person toward whom love is felt; a beloved person; a sweetheart.” What about this resembles war?

    We are strong

    No one can tell us we're wrong

    Searching our hearts for so long

    Both of us knowing

    Love is a battlefield

    If the above exemplifies more than a moment in your current relationship, let me explain to you your multiple problems. 

    1. You’re strong now. But fighting every day without the proper rest and care will break you. You’re not Mike Tyson, you’re not Muhammad Ali, and you’re clearly not Manny Pacquiao. You see where this is going?
    2. If no one can tell you you’re wrong, you’re already headed down an incredibly slippery slope. I mean one covered in an icy glaze followed by butter and there’s not a salt-truck around for miles … and miles.
    3. LOVE IS NOT A BATTLEFIELD. If both of you “know” and believe that it is, both of you need to seek outside help. The sad part is “no one can tell” you you’re wrong. So …


    Comments [6]

    SillyBeagle's picture

    Thank you.

    This has been a very surreal, yet much needed reality check. 

    Thank you.

    kholi's picture

    I'm so glad ...

    it touched you. It means a lot that folks are in need of the words I need as well. Because I write it for you guys ... But so often it's a convo with myself. <3 Appreciate you.

    SillyBeagle's picture

    D'you mind...

    If I print this out and keep it around as a 'handy reminder'? 

    (hugs)

    kholi's picture

    Print it ...

    share it ... post it everywhere. 

    it may please you to know that the first book is actually a small "guide" ... so ... we're all on the same page with where it's going. <3

    please, continue to share your thoughts as more writing comes. i'd greatly appreciate it.

    kholi's picture

    Marcie, thank you!

    And thank everyone else for the support ... well, the FB and Twitter feedback! Can't wait until next week!

    Marcie Bianco's picture

    Prob the best thing I've read

    Kholi, for a queer you're quite excellent at the straight talk.