Arrrr! It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day

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Arrrr! It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day! That time in September; when sea dogs remember that grown-ups still know how ta play! When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy and a soft-wear patch covers your eye, ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs, and buccaneers all till we die! So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells, they only would get in the way, avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party, It's "Talk... Like... A Pirate" Day!

No, I did not write that-- it's taken from the International Talk Like a Pirate Facebook page, duh! But yes, it really is International Talk Like a Pirate Day today. As if queer ladies need a reason to dress in swarthy period costumes and apply fake facial hair...

 

 

If that little pirate-speak tutorial from ITLAPD founders Ol' Chumbucket & Cap'n Slappy wasn't quite enough to get you in a drunken-sailor type mood on this fine Monday morning, perhaps you need a more relatable example in an everyday context-- here's an exerpt from the Dave Barry column that started ITLAPD on its journey of swarthy, kitchy infamy:

To prepare for Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should practice incorporating pirate terminology into your everyday speech. For example, let's consider a typical conversation between two co-workers in a business office:

BOB: Hi. Mary.

MARY: Hi, Bob. Have you had a chance to look at the Fennerman contract?

BOB: Yes, and I have some suggestions.

MARY: OK, I'll review them.

 

Now let's see how this same conversation would sound on Talk Like a Pirate Day:

BOB: Avast, me beauty.

MARY: Avast, Bob. Is that a yardarm in your doubloons, or are you just glad to see me?

BOB: You are giving me the desire to haul some keel.

MARY: Arrrrr.

 

...There you have it, bois & grrlz. And don't forget to keep a sharp eye out for those rovin' bands of lesbian pirates from outer space. Arrr.