Autumn Leaves

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Autumn Leaves

After work on the day that I got my ex-girlfriend, Faith, out of my house, I headed over to my current girlfriend, Autumn’s place.  As I waited for her to buzz me in, I was worried.  I have never had a conversation that began, “we need to talk,” that was anything that I really wanted to talk about.  This was no exception, except for the degree to which I really had not wanted to have this conversation.

Autumn gave me a thin smile upon opening the door, and turned her cheek to me when I went to kiss her "hello."  As Bob Dylan would say, I didn't need a weather vane to know which way the wind was blowing.  What I didn't get, though, was exactly what I had done to deserve such coldness.  I know the thing with Faith had been a mess, but it's not like I'd asked for it.  Plus, I'd gotten rid of her as soon as I could.  Although our breakup had been terrible, Faith and I had been friends once. When she came to me for help, I couldn't just turn my back on her, like a stranger.  Surely Autumn could see that.

After she hung my coat up on the hook by the door, Autumn indicated that I should have a seat on the couch, while she pulled up an armchair on the other side of the coffee table.  Well, I thought, at least we're in the same room. 

"Sissy, I'll just start by saying that the last two nights were extremely difficult for me."

"I'm really sorry for putting you through that, Honey," I agreed.  "Believe me, if I would have known that I was going to find Faith on my doorstep, I never would have gone home that night."

"That wouldn't have solved the problem," Autumn sighed.  "The problem is that you have a connection with Faith that you don't have with me."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Sissy, do you realize that you have never told me that you love me?" 

"Sure I have," I protested. "I've told you lots of times!" 

"No, you haven't.  You say, 'love ya,' sometimes when you hang of the phone.  You call me endearing names like Honey and Baby, but you've never told me that you love me like you meant it, not even after I've told you."

I was angry.  "Well, if it's the