Love Post-Hurricane Sandy: A BYOG Check-in

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Love Post-Hurricane Sandy: A BYOG Check-in

you sane when your city has turned into an ocean) and sitting in an apartment while starving without light or entertainment because you refused to believe what every expert meteorologist predicted as a pending reality.

The rest of this article may be a stretch, but I can’t help but try to take it there.  For me, this Sandy situation is a prime example of how we make life harder for ourselves. Now, if you’re sensitive, this may not be the article for you. Still, I encourage you to man or woman up and hear me out.

TO BE CLEAR:

In the introduction above, I gave you two things: a crisis that could not be avoided and the evidence of an unnecessarily intensified crisis because of a personal aversion to dealing with reality.

TO BE EVEN MORE CLEAR:

This is not about a hurricane. This is about how we refuse to do right by ourselves. This is about how we ignore what is often presented as fact.  This is about how a bad thing happening to you does not mean that you have to endure unnecessarily bitter, perpetually uncomfortable, circumstances.

If this Sandy situation is anything like your love life (and let’s not front, for many of us if it isn’t now, it has been), then let’s take a moment and have a BYOG check-in, shall we?

Are you ignoring all the signs of imminent disaster?

To name a few:

Are you seeking to find and use a mate as your source of happiness and satisfaction, then completely baffled by the feeling of emptiness inside when that relationship doesn’t work out?

Are you continuously trying to romantically engage with emotionally unavailable/destructive people, then completely baffled by your broken heart when that relationship doesn’t work out?

Are you continuously ignoring all the signs of complete and total lack of compatibility with a partner, then baffled by the fact that he/she moves on to someone completely different from you when that relationship doesn’t work out?

Are you continuously trying to renegotiate space within a collapsing relationship with a partner that provides you with continuous signs (for instance: a lack of interest in sex, communication, cuddling, social outings, kissing, a general lack of interest in you) of disengaging, then completely baffled by/hurt by/bitter/resistant to accepting as reality the finality when that relationship doesn’t work out?

Are you continuously engaging in any number of silly heaux activities that are hindering you from providing acceptance, growth, change, and a general feeling of comfort and peace of mind (despite the circumstances around you) in your life?

CUT IT OUT.

The point of this check-in is simple. You have a right to happiness. Choose it. You have an obligation to your own transformation. Accept it. Your amount of discomfort in any given situation is not solely based on the situation itself but, rather, how you respond to it. Know it.

You may be facing a storm, but you don’t have to die in it.

Resisting facts will not ease your pain. Resisting change will not ease your pain.

Ignoring facts will not ease your pain. Ignoring change will not ease your pain.

Doing any of the above will only make you bitter and angry. Doing any of the above could kill you … or at least make you feel like you’re dying.

Yet, if you are doing any of the above, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Do yourself a favor: ditch the discomfort. Decide that you deserve to live.