My New Pink Button

Hi, are you wondering why your lover has started turning off the lights when going "downtown"? Perhaps s/he was never into blindfolds, until now. I’ll tell you what the problem is: your brown vulva! That’s right, your dark pigmented beaver is scaring everyone and it’s all your fault. You decided to have kids, you went and got yourself sick, or maybe you are an ethnicity that is prone to darker pigmented labia. Good job, your vag has lost that fresh look.

Relax; I’m here to tell you that you have options! For only $29.95, you can dye your embarrassment away with the “cosmetic labia re-colorant,” My New Pink Button! Or, you can take a vow of chastity, because without pink pussy lips, you can kiss your sex life goodbye.

Scared about putting chemicals on your cunt? Let the testimonials on our website calm your silly little fears:

I love it, and so does my husband!

                                    -Victory H.  38 years old

Finally!  I have been living with the embarrassment of color loss for years now. As an older- single (divorced) woman I feel a little more confident* with the lights on!

                                     -Linda M. 61 years old

Order now, while supplies last! You won’t want to be left in the dark.

*Note: MNPB only guarantees you will feel “a little more confident.” We can only help you with your vulva. You are still responsible for gaining confidence with your hair, eyes, nose, wrinkly acne-prone skin, mouth lips, breath, underarm odors, obesity, sagging breasts, genital odor, and unwanted body hair.