Notes and Things in Kholi's Journal

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Notes and Things in Kholi's Journal

lesson that we often refuse to learn. Whatever we are, whatever we desire, we attract to us. When we grow, when we change, when we no longer match those people around us, the struggle starts. Quit resisting. Remove the struggle.

Girl 1 likes Girl 2. Girl 2 likes Girl 1. Girl 1 begins to grow and change—not for Girl 2—but, rather for herself, and also to better complement Girl 2 as they take their journey through life. Girl 1 is doing all the hard shit: trusting, loving past the hurt, letting go of the hurt, compromising, seeking understanding, etc. Girl 2 appreciates this, yet is not ready to do it herself. Eventually, neither Girl 1 nor Girl 2 is sure of the source of the sudden strife between them. Perhaps, a Girl 3 enters the picture. Perhaps, Girl 2 now seems torn and confused and uninterested in Girl 1. Some of us already know how all of this plays out. For those of you who do not … see point ii.

Let it go. It’s not worth it. Let it go. It’s not worth it. Let. It. Go. It’s not …

I know I’m always preaching about knowing what’s at stake and being sure before you let go. I get it. However, I’m invested in your total sense of joy and peace and happiness. A person who is resistant, unwilling, unresponsive, seemingly uncaring, and constantly in a state of flight? This person does not want you. If they do want you, they do not know how to show you. This person is probably not your girlfriend. Let her go and grow and find her own.

If this person is your girlfriend, do yourself a favor and cut the cord. Please. At this point, she is not hurting you, you are hurting you. And you know we don’t stand for any of that around here.

Happiness is not a privilege. It’s your right as a human being.

Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you that I desire happiness over breath. Yes, you read that correctly, I would literally prefer death to living without joy (please, don’t get any ideas … I said prefer, not choose). Why am I telling you this? Because happiness is not a privilege only allotted in small amounts to the extra pretty girls or the super cute couples or the “deep and spiritual” lesbians, or A-list celebs, or even the actors in the Target Christmas commercials. Happiness is yours, to have and to hold, until death do you part.

What’s the point? Every time you choose to let someone hurt you, you choose sadness. Every time you choose to put someone else’s feelings and desires before, or in place of, your won, you choose sadness. Every time you let someone you love (and/or respect) demean or embarrass or reject or emotionally terrorize you, you choose sadness. Every time you choose to keep and hold and chase and claw desperately at the source of your hurt, you choose sadness. You choose sadness. It does not choose you. It does not happen to you. It is not a thing that follows you because of your hard or difficult or painful past. You choose it. You. Choose. Sadness. Cut it out.

In the meantime,

BE YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND