On July 7, the Comprehensive Working Group Study (CRWG) tasked with evaluating the effects of repealing DADT and developing an implementation plan, issued a survey to 400,000 servicemembers on attitudes towards homosexuality and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Naturally, since there are 70,000 of us infiltrating the ranks, some gay servicemember leaked the contents of the survey, which has now been reposted all over the internet. I believe kudos are in order.
Besides the survey asking numerous leading questions and military opinion historically being a poor indicator of capacity for change, the cost of distributing, recording, and analyzing the data is astronomical. And due to the sexually predatory nature of homosexuality, the survey of course contained a shower question:
If Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is repealed and you are assigned to bathroom facilities with an open bay shower that someone you believed to be gay or lesbian Service member also used, what are you most likely to do? Mark 1.
- Take no action
- Use the shower at a different time than the Service member I thought to be gay or lesbian
- Discuss how we expect each other to behave and conduct ourselves
- Talk to chaplain, mentor, or leader about how to handle the situation
- Talk to a leader to see if I had other options
- Something else
- Don’t Know
Does it bother anyone else when heterosexuals flatter themselves into thinking every gay or lesbian will be sexually attracted to them? Or how they suggest counseling will be needed to mitigate the trauma of public showers? And why do they always forget the fact that they are already showering with gays?
Let me offer a proper rewording of the above survey question, one that actually has applicability to the policy:
What would you do if you had to shower with the gays?
- Avoid eye contact for the 30 seconds allotted for showering
- Seek counseling because I have deep-rooted insecurities
- Wear the issued one piece bathing suit and face social ostracism for being a prude
- Have crazy lesbian sex and disrupt unit cohesion
- Not even applicable - I have private bathing facilities or do not reside in military housing
- Something else - List bigoted reason below
- Don’t Know – Since when do I have to justify my ill-perceived notions?
This survey (and this policy) is way too easy to poke fun at. Unfortunately, wasting government dollars to issue a biased and therefore unusable survey is not quite so comical.