ThreeWay: Be MyN(ightmare)
Julia: So Valentine's Day is this week, and I thought what better way to commemorate it than to share our Worst Valentine's Day EVER stories?
Amy: Haha, of course! That's the perfect way to commemorate it!
Julia: Right? And I have a doozy of a story to start us off.
Amy: Dish.
Julia: Okay, so our tale begins the week before Valentine's Day 2005, almost exactly one year from the day my ex-fiancé and I split up. (After she announced she was transitioning to be a guy, not because she was trans, but because that way "we could be straight," and then when that didn’t fly with me, cyber-cheated on me with her boyfriend from high school to prove just how “straight” she was. But that's another story...)
Amy: Whoa. How can you throw that in some parentheses and not expect me to wanna know that story? Fine. Go on.
Julia: We’ll get to that one another time. Ha. So it’s one year after all of that, and I've just started REALLY liking someone for the first time since my big break up and all the ensuing lesbian angst. This new girl is amazing. She sweeps me off my feet, shows up in my gated complex having jumped the fence, IN THE RAIN, to give me flowers or just for a kiss.
Amy: That's some John Cusack shit.
A tip: the boombox serenade NEVER goes out of style...
Julia: Right?! She was totally the cute andro dyke John Cusack. I was twitterpated like WHOA. So I start letting down my guard and falling for her. And just when I announce to her how much I like her, she drops the bomb: She's going back to her cheating ex, and can't see me anymore. But we can still be friends.
Amy: UGH.
Julia: But WAIT! It gets better. Meanwhile, I have been chatting online with a dapper 40's something butch, who lives in my city (Amaaazing! They're like UNICORN rare in SoCal) and is this sweet teddy bear who has been acting as my cyberbuddy shoulder to cry on.
Amy: Niiiice.
Julia: If Bachelorette #1 was John Cusack, then Bachelorette #2 was like the Nick Nolte character in a Nicholas Sparks romantic drama.
Amy: HA!
Julia: She was this real responsible type — mid-level management corporate job — and was putting all
Comments [32]
Alright...
Alright, I want to know how many other dykes are faking it in the drum circle! Hahahaha.
Civility is not a sign of weakness.
Well i can't say about the
Well i can't say about the drum circle but i have a terrible secret to admit, i'm not the real pepe le pew... in fact, i'm not even a skunk
will you guys still love me?
-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-
Depends
Do you still have the costume?
I can eventually find one (A
I can eventually find one (A gentlewoman must be ready for every situation)
-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-
What??!! I... I... I don't
What??!! I... I... I don't know what to say. I need some time alone. *sniff*
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Ho i'm sorry to be such a
Ho i'm sorry to be such a deception for you will you forgive me one day?
-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-
It's too soon. I need time.
It's too soon. I need time. *sniff sniff*
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Si, mi amiga
We will always love you, our Dear Pepe!
Civility is not a sign of weakness.
That is nice, i don't know if
That is nice, i don't know if i deserve it
-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-
Umm... I can only speak for
Umm... I can only speak for myself. Raises hand.
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Okay
I didn't let out a guffaw until you got to the "Fire drum circle."
Love it!
tweet tweet @gracemoon
You know you've been there a
You know you've been there a million times
Never!!!
.. okay maybe once.
tweet tweet @gracemoon
I found out I was being
I found out I was being cheated on last Valentine's Day. FMV = fuck my valentine. That'd be a nice message to have written on those candy hearts. They personalize those now, right?
maybe
However, I hear they're all weird flavors now. Changed the recipe.
http://leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/thestew/2010/01/pining-for-old-sw... And apparently got rid of the white ones altogether....
Edited to put the right link, rather than one linking back to another page on this site. (oops)
I want all of my Valentine's
I want all of my Valentine's Hearts to say "GAGA." Okay, and maybe one that says "Daddy's Girl."
haha
Like how it always comes back to Gaga. Seems to pop up in nearly every blog.
Maybe all the bloggers should have an all-encompassing title for their series of blogs (e.g. 'The Kel Word'). Yours could be called 'Where's Gaga.'
Hello, long time no see.how
Hello, long time no see.how are you?
-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-
ca va
I'm fine. Received your sms, but assumed you were already on the plane, so didn't respond.
Haven't had internet at home, France Telecom seems to have finally sorted things out. Was nice actually meeting you. Next time dinner's on me. 
1st thing is off topic
and i forgot about not being able to send you a note thingy with out getting a membership, but - tonight my physics teacher yelled BAZINGA. it was awesome.
worst vday was last year. i wasn't sure if i should have bothered getting her anything nice because i kinda new it was probably over. but i bought her these cool black pearl earrings anyway. i open my gift and it was trivial pursuit. trivial pursuit. on valentines day. needless to say not much else happened that night. obviously she was done trying. but unfortunately i'm an idiot and it didn't end for another month.
oooooh man. black pearl
oooooh man. black pearl earrings for trivial pursuit? hopefully they were faux? claire's in the mall?
no they were real
but not expensive. there is this awesome place right outside of chicago called dave's rock shop. they have amazing jewelry for super cheap. they save money on the silver in the settings and bands of the rings. i got her a ring too. the rock was rare moldavite, it's green space rock. total it was only 100 bucks. it still bothers me about the moldavite. i wish i didn't waste it on her because it's so effin' cool. i'd feel weird giving it to someone else now. but then again, it wasn't about her. it wasn't something she liked, it's something i liked. maybe that's what bothers me the most. i feel like she just kept taking bits of me the entire relationship and all i got was trivial pursuit.
!!!!!!!!
" it wasn't something she liked, it's something i liked. maybe that's what bothers me the most. i feel like she just kept taking bits of me the entire relationship and all i got was trivial pursuit."
what a truth.
seriously though, when you give somebody something you really like, it feels like you are giving them an amazing present because you have to part with it. i don't think about how it's not a great present for them until afterwards or you see them fake excitement.
Hahaha! Actually, I did get
Hahaha! Actually, I did get your "Bazinga!" love note. Just to clarify, you don't have to buy a subscription to send love notes, you just can't read other people's love notes (including the ones you've sent them) unless you're a premium member.
ooooh ok
this pleases me.
It would also be gagalicious
It would also be gagalicious to get ones that say "RA", "AH", "ROMA", "OOH", "LA", etc. Imagine the possibilites.
And one that just says "PAWS
And one that just says "PAWS UP"!!!
whoops
post fail
loved this
...and I think you should introduce DrummerGirl to SailorLady
Insomniac
hilarious!
hilarious!
haha! perfect
haha! perfect
Happy endings?* Are those
Happy endings?* Are those being offered along with the VP subscription? If so, you should definitely be advertising that shit.
*Yes, that was meant to be a double entendre'.
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