ThreeWay: Dude Looks Like a Lady

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ThreeWay: Dude Looks Like a Lady

Julia: So... you know when you're walking down the street and you see a hot butch dyke and your head turns and you smile and get flirty... only to realize—with GREAT disappointment—"Oh, that's a dude. Not a dyke. Dammit."


Amy: Of course. Happens more than I'd like to admit.

Elizabeth: Ugh. I have to remind myself every time I go to the East Village that the hot bulldaggers everywhere are in fact dumb, stupid, cisgendered boys.

Julia: Right?

Amy: It's sad, really. Sometimes it's your professor or even worse, your dad's friend and then it's just embarrassing.

Julia: OMG I know. I get so disappointed. Like, "What a waste." Which is so lame of me, but... whatever.

Amy: "What a waste," that's a great way to look at it. Waste of what though? Your time? Your enthusiasm? Or waste of a person?

Julia: Cuteness. On a boy.

Elizabeth:  I've heard Liederman use the term "Should-bian."

Julia: Ha ha!

Amy: TRUE. Although.... there are SO many more hot boys out there that I’ve just embraced/accepted it.

Julia: Sigh. You are so forward thinking, Amy. Someday I will mature and be like you.

Amy: Otherwise, you'd never be able to flirt! Haha.

Julia: So there’s this blog on blogspot which has taken the dilemna of dudes who look like dykes to a whole new level... of funny.

Amy: I think the hilarity is in its specificity of "old" lesbians.

Julia: I know!

Amy: Because there are a couple entries titled "men who look like youngish lesbians." Snooze. That's boring.

Elizabeth: I especially love it because it turns that whole dull and homophobic "that woman looks man" thing on its head. And also because its just hilarious.

Julia: That is a really good point, E. It's kinda subversive, right? And some of these slay me. Like David Sylvian on the second page? How is that not a lesbian?!?!?!

Amy: Hang on let me look…

Elizabeth: HA!

Julia: One of these guys even wrote a book of "whimsical poems" called Old Possum's Book of Practical Shoes. If that doesn't make ANYONE a lesbian, I don't know what does.

Amy: LOL Totally. And while we're on the second page, one of my faves is Norm Coleman.

Julia: Totally! All he needs is some berks and cargo shorts. And three dogs.

Amy: Total women's basketball coach.

Julia: RIGHT?! Okay, but the one that really really REALLY

Comments [47]

deedee's picture

You Guys

Had me laughing so hard when I red your replys to my comment.I do love this site you guys are GREAT.Blogers and writers have a good attitude Julia I will be staying around a lot.


Julia has Moon ever wrote about sex ,I can't recall(I am sure she has I think)

K I T's picture





Erin Blackwell's picture

this is not meant to go under

this is not meant to go under Moon's post.

this blog is so mindboggling in so many directions i can't compose a comment except, Thanks girls, for desiring manly girls.

K I T's picture

shout out

Fem / butch  you name it and what ever you wish to call,

I 4 1  sure do digg them all !

Winks ~smiles ~ lol  & nop I ain't  a troll Wink Evil

peacekitty's picture



"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Julia Watson's picture

Terribly pointy of you, my

Terribly pointy of you, my dear.

peacekitty's picture

Ha.  :)  Straight and to the

Ha.  :)  Straight and to the, well not straight, but you know what I mean.

I was trying to post under Grace and I keep sending my comments to the top of the page.  I was going to delete that one and try again. Bear with me,  I'm Velvet Parkly challenged. 

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Lake's picture

Did you say "Pointy"??

deedee's picture

Here we go again

Damn it ,can't ANYBODY on this site talk about femm dykes? Not EVERYBODY on this site is into butch dykes, yes that is right blogers writers .Yes I am a woman that loves females that looks like females so sue me, you damn sure what get anything.


Do you guys even know how to go out with a femm dyke.

Robin Rigby's picture

How 'bout we just talk about

How 'bout we just talk about women? I'm neither butch nor femme, nor any other label you'd like to slap on me. I'm just a woman who loves women and who wants to be loved by a woman, as a woman. Period.

dlcottage's picture

I like this too!

Very well put.

Peace out

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Robin, I like it.....


Rusty's picture

My favorite topic

If I tried to write everything I love about femmes my computer might well explode. I'll try to maintain focus by sticking to the five senses:

1. I love her scent - Lancome's Magie Noir will someday be the death of me (au natural works, too.)

2. I love to touch her and I love the way all she has to do is look like she's going to touch me. . . .

3. I love the sound of her voice whispering in my ear as she brushes her fingers across my neck stubble.

4. I love the way she walks into a room and instantly owns it. I also love to watch her as she walks away.

5. Last and by no means least — I love the way she tastes.

[Sending a cyber bouquet to all the femmes who visit VP.]

And now, I'll be in my bunk.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Lake's picture


GGGGEEEEEEZZZZ.....Hell I need a moment to myself.........Wink


Where can one purchase this "Lancome's Magie Noir"?


Rusty's picture

Fine Fragrance Counters

(Travesty though it was) whoever bought Marshall Fields carries it.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Lake's picture


Cool!!!!   I need to smell pretty for all the "Alpha" ladies!!! Wink


LongBeachDogLover's picture

right on sister !!

deedee~ i doubt that it will ever happen. and if you're a femme, who's attracted to femme's.....well, I'm pretty sure - hell will freeze over before that lifestyle is ever discussed.  

i feel ya.


Annie Oaklee's picture

Cherchez la femme!

DeeDee, why don't you post a blog about femmes? (if you can - I haven't really explored the possibilities on this site). Who knows how many (lurking) women might be truly grateful?

SMBrown's picture

Maybe hell has frozen over

I'm with Annie on this--has hell frozen over?   Wink

Deedee and/or LongBeach why not cleverly use the occasion of one of these homages to butches to pen your own 'ode to femmes' rebuttal?

LongBeachDogLover's picture


This attitude within our own community, goes much deeper than an 'ode to femmes rebuttal' could ever manage to elucidate in some women's hearts and minds.....  



SMBrown's picture


And yet, L Word was mostly all femmes all the time...

Anyway, I'm one of the 'community' and don't have those attitudes and would more than welcome any elucidation.   Smile

LongBeachDogLover's picture

It's really odd Mystics.....

Since day one, you and I have gone around in circles on this website. But, you know what? I've always understood and respected, your ability to separate 'emotions' and 'reality'.... And, believe it or not Mystics, I find that an exceptional quality in you. I will guarantee you that over a cup of tea, or a glass of wine, that we could have some awesome discussions.

But here, on this website, I was recently told - in not so many words - that, regardless of how hard I am trying to learn, my lack of understanding the butch/femme dynamic, is not a welcome point of view. So, with that in mind, I will refrain from taking this to the next level. 


SMBrown's picture

Okey-dokey, LB.  I'm sorry

Okey-dokey, LB.  I'm sorry you have felt silenced, because, yes, although you and I have gone 'round in circles many a time, on THIS issue--which I'm decidedly neutral on--I think over time you've demonstrated a great willingness to step outside your comfort zone and TRY to understand something different to your experience.  And as Exhibit A I would offer that you think Rachel Maddow is hot--I mean how much more can the butch-loving world ask of you?   Wink

LongBeachDogLover's picture


Thank you for understanding....


Julia Watson's picture

Deedee, darlin': Amy,

Deedee, darlin': Amy, Elizabeth and I are butch-droolin'-over femmes who have bonded over our butch-droolin'-over ways, so it's only to be expected that the topic will crop up with some regularity with us, especially in a column like this one dedicated to exploring topics related to gender and sexuality. That said, our celebration of butches certainly shouldn't be read as an attack on women who love girly girls--especially considering that the butches we are lusting over often (thank Jeebus!) fall into this category. There are plenty of writers here who dig the more girly aesthetic; I think it's just that, with the exception of Staceyanne and Moon, those folks don't write about sex much. I would like to see that change, too, from time to time! (I'm lookin' at YOU Crandall and Blackwell!)

Also, Deedee, I think you will dig next week's ThreeWay. Stick around...  Smile

And for CMW below, I hope you know us well enough by now to know that any fun we poke around here isn't  of the malicious variety, but intended with good-humor and a generous helping of self-deprecating sensibility, if also with a smattering of mischievous tomfoolery.

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Oh, I do know, trust me

That's why I didn't come completely unglued. Wink

Just been a tough week in the Battle Creek area, dealing with similar statements directed at me, and not in a fun or friendly way, by women who claimed to be feminists but thought I should adhere to patriarchal gender expectations.  Thanks to certain views promoted at the MWMF, I end up dealing with this sort of thing every August, it seems.  The extremists on the other side at Camp Trans aren't helping matters.

Probably would have been better had my boss sent me somewhere more enlightened and progressive, say for instance, Alabama.  Then I would have been able to enjoy your humor like I usually do.

Grace Moon's picture



step it up for the ladies who like femme ladies.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Erin Blackwell's picture

i'll get right on her. i

i'll get right on her. i mean, clit. i mean, IT.

Julia Watson's picture

*bounce* Mama's home!!! I may


Mama's home!!! I may put my hair in celebratory pigtails.

Grace Moon's picture


i thought you are gone till tomorrow?

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Julia Watson's picture

I meant "gone" as in "our

I meant "gone" as in "our skanky hotel in the desert may or may not make good on its promise of free wireless." And we found an apartment on the first day here!  Smile

And way to change the subject, Moonie. When are you going to write another humpy blog? Perhaps one about wild women in the woods...

yonks's picture

Hey Moon!!

The sky of VP isn't the same during an eclipse, welcome back. we've missing you. Smile

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

K I T's picture


guitar  sax and violin sounds and yonks singing

total eclips of the heart

Grace Moon's picture



tweet tweet @gracemoon

yonks's picture

Erin Blackwell, she talk about femme...


You cute little cat, you broke Pepe's heart

-Do not follow me, I'M LOST-

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture

Why bother?

After all, it's so much more entertaining to make fun of people for their appearance, and especially for failing to meet patrairchal gender expectations and standards.

camomileroses's picture

WTF happened to eric

WTF happened to eric carmen?!!!!  my god, are we sure that's even him??  i'm serious, cuz the guy had to have a total face transplant for it to be him.  duuuude there is no way.  he would have been at the top of my list of shouldbians before he became an alien.  he was sooooo cute now look at him.

"there will never be a technology more advanced than the human mind - fully engaged in the divine process of being. technology is a tool not a destination." me.

Joanne Robertson's picture


Neil Finn's on there!

I don't know about mistaking him for a lesbian, but I always thought this song should be a lesbian anthem ... 

A celesbian singer needs to cover it! ... The lyrics are perfect

Rusty's picture

Keith Urban, uh huh

This explains how he won over Nicole Kidman.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Tiff's picture

Slightly off topic, but

I followed your link to Sarah McLachlan's fan site and found a discription of this music video: from her song 'World on Fire.' I'd never seen it (it's been six years since I owned a television) but everyone should. Wow.

Annie Oaklee's picture

on fire

Caring about ppl is never off topic. I love that video too, altho she says it cost $15 when in reality, if the editor and person who did the graphics/effects work was paid it would have cost a lot more than that. But she gets the point across! and she did donate tons to charity.

Makes you think twice and ten times about the way we spend money and use our lives.

Kind of in the same vein but less detailed about what could be done with all that $$ is this vid:

Tiff's picture


Maybe the editor worked for free in light of the cause? Who knows....

That video was interesting. I've never understood the amount of money politicians feel is necessary to put on their shows, be it campaigns, inaugurations, whatever. I also think these wealthy presidents (which includes all of them anymore) would be more impressive if they refused to be paid for the job. It's not like most of them need the money and they would still get all sorts of perks, travel arrangements, free housing, etc.

The governor of Tennessee turned down a salary, stating he was already wealthy enough and didn't need the state's money wasted on him. I wish more politicians would follow that example.

Annie Oaklee's picture

Thanks for watching that vid

Thanks for watching that vid with an open mind. I'd like to see politicians doing fundraisers all over the country (or wherever they're campaigning) for causes they believe in instead of just standing on stages saying the same stump speeches over and over. We'd get to know them better that way, they'd get publicity because news stations would cover it and they could tie in their talking points to whatevever is relevant to the cause.

Good for Phil Bredesen! One of my favorite feminist sites is Tennessee Guerilla Women  and they make a lot of fun of primitive, sexist TN politicians ("the Tennessee Taliban"). Glad to hear there may be some "non-Taliban" guys over there!

CA_Medicine_Woman's picture


Just, well, wow.

minniesota's picture

MN represents

OMG, I am ROTFL about both Norm Coleman and Al Franken being on that blog.

Sorry to use textspeak, LOL!

Oh, I think this needs an emoticon too. Laughing out loud


Still searching for the right brainy quote.

LongBeachDogLover's picture

Too Fuckin' Hilarious.......

Yikes.  Makes a girl wonder what kind of 'straight' girl is attracted to a guy that looks like my 8th. grade gym teacher.... Hell, she scared the shit out of me!!  Damn, she looked like Bruce Jenner....  LMAO


Annie Oaklee's picture

2nd row, 3rd from left

That blogspot is really funnnnny (make sure to check out the older posts) but most of the guys look like guys to me... the header...


2nd row, 3rd from left!!!!!

Damn right: Cuteness wasted!!!


(Later....whaaaaaaat? Blago????!!!)