The Top 10 Most Lesbianic, Most Homolicious Glee Songs EVARRHHH!

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The Top 10 Most Lesbianic, Most Homolicious Glee Songs EVARRHHH!

Remember the first time you were watching an episode of Glee and thought, "Holy freakin' ruby slippers, this show is SO GAY! I would like to bathe in it now." And, on Fox, no less. There's something extra-amazeballs about seeing this level of sustained gayocity in such a mainstream pop culture package, sending the message that the gay is for everyone in this great land of ours, and there's plenty to go around.

Oh, there certainly is. 

So, in anticipation of tonight's very special, super-sapphic episode, I put my head together with our Editorial Director, Marcie Bianco, and we came up with our top 10 list of the most lesbianic, most homolicious, songs (EVARRHHH!) on Glee to date. It was actually really hard. And a bit of a heavy weight to curate, quite frankly.

Without further ado, here you have it. This ought to help prepare you for tonight's lineup of Melissa Etheridge's "I'm the Only One," Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" and Dolly Parton's classic "Jolene," along with a Klaine duet of Pink's "Fuckin' Perfect." What a long, gay trip it's been...

10) “When I Get You Alone,” Blaine

Marcie: This song gets me all hot-n-bothered; it’s so lesbionic. I mean, of course Blaine sings it; he’s such a little boi lesbian! (Blainebians unite!) Just the lyric, “You can keep your toys in the drawer tonight, / Alright” titillates me…and makes me want to do naughty things to a special lady friend of mine.

9) Just The Way You Are (Finn) 

Jenny: Remember when Cory Monteith made that Straight But Not Narrow video? This is just like that. But in musical form. Also, it's fun to say “Furt.”


8) "Valerie," Santana

Marcie: To me, this is Santana’s most lesbic contribution to the Glee catalogue. Santana singing an apostrophe to “Valerie.” It’s part sass, part heartbreak—“Won’t you come on over, / Stop makin’ a fool outta meeeeee”—equals LE SIGH. Equals, gurl, stop playin' with my heart; do I need to break out 'NSync?

Glee Valerie from vincent gomez on Vimeo.

7) Somebody to Love (Ensemble)

Jenny: This song wouldn't be gay at all if Lea and Dianna could just keep their paws off each other while they're singing it. Every. Single. Live. Show. 100% pure bottled adorableness.

Comments [8]

Marcie Bianco's picture

ok. <3 Coach Beiste <3 just

ok. <3 Coach Beiste <3 just sang JOLENE = MAKE ROOM IN THE TOP 10!!!

Tiff's picture

Gonna have to check my

Gonna have to check my "That's So Gay" playlist (seriously) and get back to you.

But excuse me, Faberry hand-holding aside, Queen is pretty gay, regardless.

Marcie Bianco's picture

Jenny actually had a much

Jenny actually had a much longer list that we parsed and put together with mine—I think there are some obvious ones not included, right? like "Landslide" (on J's prelim list)... I tend to the S&M songs like "Mercy" etc etc.

Tiff's picture

"Landside" is a definite yes.

"Landside" is a definite yes. "Songbird," too--really, anything with Santana. "Baby It's Cold Outside" would be on my top ten for sure, though. 

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

told you it was hard!

yeah, picking just 10 was rather excruciating. made me glad I don't have to edit/anthologize for a living! but fo' sho', most every song featuring kurt and/or blaine could've gone on here (though of course for this particular list, we were focusing more on the girly side), as well as most any santana song, and frankly most any quinn song, too (I always felt like keep me hangin' on/keep holding on were the first faberry love songs-- quinn surrounded by sweaty cheerleaders in football drag while she pines for the one she can't have, rachel giving quinn her biggest soulful puppy eyes when she sings to her to "keep holding on, cuz I'm here for you..."). so you see why I was up till the wee hours cutting down to just my top 5 last nite! thank goodness I was only responsible for half the list Wink

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Marcie Bianco's picture

ohhh! "Baby, it's cold

ohhh! "Baby, it's cold outside" was my FAV SONG from last year's holiday episode! it was so sweet and seksi at the same time. 

I also think Lea/Rachel's "Take a Bow" would be on my own list.....

culling together this list has made me think about how I select homolabian songs, through my particular lesbian spectacles: how much the particular song's lyrics seem homo, the context in which the song is sung (Santana to/about Brit, for instance), and my own particular positionality (ie, my own relationship status or feelings about love in general) seem to be the major factors. 

Tiff's picture

My "That's So Gay"

My "That's So Gay" Playlist:

Non-GleeAerosmith, 'Annie,' Andrew Llyod Webber, The Beatles, Bon Jovi, Bonnie Raitt, Bonnie Tyler, Carly Simon, Club Nouveau, 'A Chorus Line,' Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, Depeche Mode, Devo, 'Kismet', Elvis, Ethel Merman, Eurythmics, Fleetwood Mac, Flobots, Frazey Ford, 'The Sound of Music,' General Public, 'The Wizard of Oz,' Idina Menzel, 'Wicked,' Indigo Girls, Irene Cara, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, 'Dreamgirls,' 'Cabaret,' Joan Baez, Joan Jett, John Lennon, 'The Pajama Game,' 'My Fair Lady,' 'Footloose,' Lady Gaga, 'Les Misérales,' 'Annie Get Your Gun,' Mazzy Star, Melissa Etheridge, Men Without Hats (Safety Dance), Michael Sembello (Maniac, obvi), Neil Diamond (Cherry, Cherry), Pat Benetar, Prince, 'Avenue Q,' 'Fiddler On The Roof,' Rufus Wainwright, Sarah McLachlan, Scott McKenzie, Sheryl Crow, Soft Cell (Tainted Love), 'Chicago,' The Temptations (My Girl), 'Hair,' 'RENT,' 'Pal Joey,' Wham! (Wake Me Up Before You Go Go), The New Seekers, and Katrina & The Waves (Has anyone else noticed how awful this band name is post-hurricane?) are all included and would make great Glee numbers.

Glee: One Love (People Get Ready), Empire State of Mind, Teenage Dream, Just The Way You Are, She's Not There, Thriller/Heads Will Roll, Marry You, As If We Never Said Goodbye, Born This Way, Hey Soul Sister, Silly Love Songs, Blackbird, Candles, Somewhere Only We Know, Don't Stop Believin', Maybe This Time, Alone, Halo/Walking On Sunshine, Lean On Me, Imagine, True Colors, Smile, Don't Rain On My Parade, You Can't Always Get What You Want, My Life Would Suck Without You, 4 Minutes, What It Feels Like For A Girl, Like A Prayer, Fire, A House Is Not a Home, One Less Bell to Answer/A House Is Not a Home, Rose's Turn, Home, One, I Dreamed a Dream, Funny Girl, Bad Romance, Poker Face, To Sir With Love, Over The Rainbow, I Feel Pretty/Unpretty, Time Warp, Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me, Singing In the Rain/Umbrella, Do You Wanna Touch Me, Forget You, Landslide, Get It Right, Don't You Want Me, Sing, Loser Like Me, Toxic, and Baby It's Cold Outside are my Season I & II additions to the list. (It clearly needs to be updated. Especially for the Adele Mash-up!)

It's weird, but the Glee cover of "Take Me or Leave Me" doesn't make the cut. RENT is definitely a significant part of the playlist, but the Rachel/Mercedes duet is surprisingly un-gay. I didn't even think it was possible to make that song straight. Can't win'em all, I guess.

Conlite's picture

A gay song being made

A gay song being made straight - I thought the same thing about this version of Somebody To Love.  I was taken aback by the video clip posted here!