Top 10 Reasons Gays Should Not Be Allowed to Serve in the US Military

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Top 10 Reasons Gays Should Not Be Allowed to Serve in the US Military

1. Somewhere, empirical evidence exists that proves homosexuality is a detriment to unit cohesion. We just haven’t actually found it yet…

2. According to the Washington Post-ABC News poll, 31 percent of the U.S. doesn’t support gays in the military. But never mind the majority opinion in an American democracy.

3. In the words of our favorite Senator John McCain “At the moment of intense hardship for our Armed Services, we should not be seeking to overturn the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.” In the middle of two wars, we shouldn’t be discharging mission-critical Arabic linguists either.

Elaine Donnelly

4. Elaine Donnelly, president of the Center for Military Readiness-an anti-women, anti-gay “think” tank- reasons that if DADT is repealed, sexual assault cases will increase threefold. Given that there are 70,000 gays presently serving and there were 2900 sexual assault cases last year, 1 in 12 gays will commit a sexual assault if DADT is repealed. And this is mathematically sound.

5. If we allow gays to have equal-ish rights in the military, what is to stop them from gaining equality in society at-large? Repealing DADT could be the beginning of a slippery slope toward egalitarianism.

6. Homosexuals would present logistical problems. In the interest of heterosexuals, gays would have to be separated into their own barracks. And masses of gay men in a confined area = problem solved? Flawless logic.

7. The military would rather have social policies that resemble the likes of North Korea, Syria, and Iran, not Israel, Canada, and the UK.

8. Repeal would infringe on heterosexual solders’ privacy. Social ostracism isn’t reason enough to practice mutual gaze aversion in the showers.

9. The military shouldn’t used for social experiments. Truman’s desegregation of the military, which occurred before desegregation of the rest of American society, is certainly something to be frowned upon in retrospect.

10. The military culture will become flamboyant to the point that it cannot function. Take LTC Victor Fehrenbach for example, who only slightly resembles one of the most masculine movie stars of all time.

Although the tone of this article is satirical, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is a serious issue affecting at least 70,000 gays and lesbians serving our country during a time of war. And though unprecedented progress has been made this year to ax this discriminatory law, the battle is not yet won. The Defense Authorization bill (which contains an amendment calling for DADT repeal) will be presented on the Senate floor later this month, where John McCain has threatened to filibuster. Assuming his radical attempts are thwarted, it will still take the stamp of approval from President Obama, Secretary Gates, and Admiral Mullen to implement a policy of nondiscrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in the U.S. Military. The time is near, but it will take an act of diligence to finally repeal DADT.



Comments [21]

Williamfallin's picture

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Williamfallin's picture

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rovermom's picture

I always heard about "I

I always heard about "I wouldn't want to be in the military with a 'lesbian' knowing while I shower she's looking on me and wanting me"...

1. if you shower en mass in the military, you will have 1.5 minutes to wash everything and .25 minutes to dress and make that bed bounce a quarter.

2. you ain't all that..I'll just take the chips please

if you bond in the military like they want you to and train you to, you will know each other so well to not fear each other or cross personal lines...which leads me to 3...

if you can't see another enlisted solider as part of the unit, no matter what their personal likes are...then you are NOT military material...yet.

Mjfranci's picture

Hi, everyone!

Grace, thanks for puting the comment back up.

This whole DADT doesn't make sense so I wanted to be on their side and make as much sense as they do---none. I just hit my keyboad with my knuckles to create the non-words and then put down as many pop culture things as I could think of as the ultimate reason to uphold DADT Smile

 

 

There are entire Will & Grace episodes out there that could serve as really cool quotes for signatures. Yes, whole episodes!

Conlite's picture

Wish I could laugh at this

Wish I could laugh at this hilarious blog without crying over the insanity of it all.  Glad you only went for the top 10 excuses, or the list would be endless!

Mjfranci's picture

Oh.

What happened to my comment?

Was it flagged? Or did I mess up the posting process?

There are entire Will & Grace episodes out there that could serve as really cool quotes for signatures. Yes, whole episodes!

Grace Moon's picture

oh

Sorry I un-published it.

I didn't understand what you were saying and I thought you were a spammer for a second!

That garbled text and all the key words threw me. And we've been having so many problems with weirdos lately I thought someone took control of your account. I've republished it. but someone will deff have to explain it to me.

*edit*

Okay I get it. hah.

clearly Adam Lambert, Conan vs. Leno, Twilight, iPhone G4, The Real L word, your salad for lunch including your crapy desert is the resaon DADT should stay in place.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

Grace,

Did you by any chance join Julia for TRLW last night? If so, you may need a brain scan for damage to the humor center. I hear it can be pretty debilitating.

Best wishes,

Tae

Grace Moon's picture

hahha

seriously... either its the freaking heat in NY or its the aweful news, or trlw mind numbing torture.

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Not2Taem's picture

Triple threat

All valid possibilities. Hang in there. Fall has to come eventually, and you will be able to get back to getting hot and bothered in a more entertaining way.

MacLass_19's picture

Hi Mjfranci

I was half asleep - but I'm pretty sure that I saw it & giggled a couple of times. It wasn't flagged, and it certainly was not a FLAG-worthy comment. 

Internet gremlins perhaps? 

Not2Taem's picture

Hey Mj,

Is it possible that you hit preview instead of post. It is most natural to me to go to the right hand button, so now and again I do that. If it was flagged, it would still show the place where it was with your avatar.

Grace Moon's picture

I think

No. 10 is the best reason. Smile

tweet tweet @gracemoon

Tex's picture

I'm diggin' it....

I'm gonna try to get the government contract for camouflage boas!

Twitter Time @kdhales

Not2Taem's picture

She-he-he-he!

Laughing out loud

Mjfranci's picture

I agree

with all the reaons you present. DADT must be upheld to preserve the hjuhhd of the nation, the jj'ocooc of the military and the hlsmcm that is so needed in war situations. Providing LGBTQ soldiers with the same rights as straight soldiers would not only zzsdww3, it would also ccfr55, not to mention nahnehneh. As a supporter of this great nation's military efforts, I urge jah dada

Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Adam Lambert, Conan vs. Leno, Twilight, iPhone G4, The Real L word, a huge salad for lunch today with some wild alaskan salmon. Dessert, however, sucked.

Thanks for reading and agreeing with me.

There are entire Will & Grace episodes out there that could serve as really cool quotes for signatures. Yes, whole episodes!

Not2Taem's picture

Alaskan Salmon

Hah! As soon as I read Alaskan Salmon I got a flash of Sarah Palin. Can't get more redonculous than that. I think I would have gotten the aim without the explanation.

Laughing out loud

Mjfranci's picture

I e-mailed what U said

to my friend and now she can't stop laughing and texting me about how she can't stop laughing.

 

There are entire Will & Grace episodes out there that could serve as really cool quotes for signatures. Yes, whole episodes!

Not2Taem's picture

Always glad

to bring a   Smile

Tex's picture

Awesome satire!

31% don't want gays while 2% serve....."Don't talk about farmers with your mouth full."

Twitter Time @kdhales

bekcat's picture

Never hear that...

"Don't talk about farmers with your mouth full."  I love that!

It is what it is.