Twilight’s Robert Pattison is Gay

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Twilight’s Robert Pattison is Gay

It seems Robert Pattison made all the screaming Twilight enthusiasts cream their panties when he recently confirmed rumors that he and fellow New Moon co-star Kristen Stewart are romantically involved. According to Pattison, they’ve have been dating for quite some time.

Hmm… I’m confused. Are they double dating or actually dating each other? What makes me ask (besides my gay-dar going off like a K-Mart blue light special) is because during a recent interview with Details magazine Pattison stated he was “allergic to vagina.”

I’m just guessing here, but I don’t think Kristen Stewart mirrors Robert’s particular aversion toward pussy. Just don’t tell the breeders because they’re so sensitive about their fantasies of a real life Twilight romance jumping off the pages and out of the movie screens. In my personal opinion, I’m positive it’s Bella that aches for Edwards’s vagina — not his long fangs.

Hey, I’m not one to out anybody, but come on people… We’ve seen the photos of Nikki Reed and Stewart together and they are very affectionate with one another. On numerous occasions they’ve been spotted holding hands, kissing, or cuddling while Robert Pattison stands off to the side COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED. Now, why would a man seem completely unresponsive when he’s around two hot women groping each other you ask? Hmm, there could be two possible reasons: A) he’s completely blind or B) he’s fucking GAY.

It’s been speculated on various media outlets that Kristen Stewart is Robert Pattison’s “beard” (a pretend girlfriend or boyfriend who covers for someone in the closet). This is a time honored tradition in the entertainment industry (Tom Cruise, hello?) In some cases two birds are killed with one stone when both parties are homo (rember Dana in S1 of TLW). So with all the Kristen Stewart/Nikki Reed lesbian theories floating through gay media, and Pattison’s self-proclaimed allergy to pussy, could this "confirmed love affair" between the two young starts just be some Hollywood smoke and mirrors special effect? Or could it just be another Twilight promotional tactic? I’m thinking a lot of both.

I can respect personal reasons why some closeted gays choose to stay in there (with the exception of gay politicians that vote against LGBT rights), but I truly believe in the importance of being true to oneself. Amanda Bearse (Marcy D’Arcy in Married with Children) once said “The most important step that any gay man or lesbian can take is to come out of the closet. It’s been proven that it’s easier to hate us and fear us if you can’t see us.”

Could you imagine if all of gay Hollywood actually came out?! It would be like a ragging tsunami of queer-lebrities! Then all over the world it would rain Skittles for days.



Comments [24]

SMBrown's picture

I have a problem with Stewart

I have a problem with Stewart and PattiNson (can we at least get the spelling right?) masquerading if they're not really an item.  But I don't have a problem with them not being frank about their sexuality if that's not where their at--this assumes a straight/gay binary that I think is growing less and less applicable to younger generations.  My 'gaydar' doesn't go off about these three, but my 'fluidar' does...

minniesota's picture

Proof of something but what?

All this proves to me is that that we Americans are ignorant of old British Vaudevillian jokes.

Still searching for the right brainy quote.

Rusty's picture

The VP Globe

. . . and have a penchant for rumor mongering.

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

peacekitty's picture

I agree.

I agree.

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Rusty's picture

false rumor

Apparently the guy who wrote the HuffPo blog that you based this on got the wrong end of the turd in his mouth. The American press is running with the false rumor that Pattison is gay. Here's how a commenter on the site put it:

His comment refers to a JOKE.....
Man goes to his doctor and says, "I hate vaginas, I'm allergic to vaginas...

..everytime I'm near one I turn red and swell up, I can't breathe and begin to sweat profusely." He was refering to a JOKE......He's British people.....gee, he dated the beautiful Camilla Bella for how many years before meeting Kristen Stewart.....

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

Olivia Mistelle Maxell's picture

I've always had to defend

I've always had to defend certain rumors about myself and I just tell people, 'a lot of what you hear about me is true, but most of it isn't.' (yes, I quoted myself)

The statement might have been taken out of context or false, but sometimes rumors have a light of truth behind them and speculation of Pattison's homosexuality are frequent. I mean you don't hear many rumors about Mel Gibson being gay, do you? Why is that? Because he doesn't give people reasons to wonder.  

Rusty's picture

"The statement might have

"The statement might have been taken out of context or false . . . ." Do you feel any responsibility to fact check you blog before you post it?

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." ~ Pollyanna

peacekitty's picture

Because he's a conservative

Because he's a conservative Catholic breeder?

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"

Joanne Robertson's picture

Yep

all three - gay gay gay! ... I've thought that from the beginning.

Separate from the hollywood closet issue, Kristen & Rob would have been 'encouraged' to have a mock romance anyway, because the tween/teen set can't get enough of that stuff.  It's all fantasy at that age *feeling old*, plus it sells endless merchandise and magazines. cha ching!!

Olivia Mistelle Maxell's picture

Agreed

...but at what price does it all make repressing who you are worth it?

Joanne Robertson's picture

Ultimately it isn't worth it

because they're not being authentic, but hollywood has a twisted hypocritical set of rules.

I do think some actors get a kick out of the speculation side of sexuality - any talk is good talk on that planet.  Sure, there are probably some genuinely terrified closets who dread the day they might be asked that question.

Then you see Kristen & Nikki, who at that crowded photoshoot (surrounded by cameras) kissed.  It seemed like it was something they just did (like everyday) - no big deal (which is true for us) but they know it creates some serious gossip.

Other young hipster actors must be getting sexuality advice from somewhere, so I wonder where it starts?  The parent? agent? film writers/financial backers? ... ps - I still can't get my head around the creator of Twilight being mormon. wtf?!

There's definitely a role modelling problem ... they observe the greats like Jodie Foster *heart* and see how long it took before she acknowledged (publically) what most of the world knew.  They equate her not coming out (partly) with her longevity in hollywood ... and the cycle goes on.

The gay men in film are just invisible.  I can think of Rupert Everett, Sir Ian McKellen & Stephen Fry, but they're all British .... any out American film actors?

Olivia Mistelle Maxell's picture

Hollywood's values

Seem to mirror America's "values" to a degree. Will studios lose money if people know Tom Cruise is gay because people would think of his love scenes and action shots less authentic? 

See, I think the Church of Scientology get celebrities by holding their sexuality hostage. Look at  John Travolta, Tom Cruise, and it's been rumored WIll Smith and Jada are bearding for each other. 

Robin Rigby's picture

Um...  Neil Patrick Harris?

Um...  Neil Patrick Harris?  In the USA he's far more popular than all those guys you named combined.  He's kind of the Ellen of gay men.  Everyone loves him.  Dude used to be Doogie Howser for pete's sake.  And now with that TV show he's on that I don't watch, Harold and Kumar, Dr. Horrible, etc, etc.  He's huge.

Olivia Mistelle Maxell's picture

Neil

My big brother is the biggest chauvinist/knuckle dragger/great guy-- and he loves Neil's role in How  I Met Your Mother. I guess it makes sense, but he said if he were playing a gay man with the same personality (on the show) he'd still watch. I was shocked.

Don't get me started on George Clooney. Dude is the Rock Hudson of our generation. Does anybody not see it?! Julia Roberts is always jokingly alluding  to his gayness during all their Ocean interviews. 

Ugh, why is my text showing up in Italic and bold? It won't let me change it! 
 

Joanne Robertson's picture

I know him

& the dude that used to be in Grey's ... but what about film - like a George Clooney type?

Julia Watson's picture

TR Knight.

TR Knight.

ZaraThustra's picture

why do i automatically

think about Spike's song, "Let me rest in peace"....? ("Let me take my love and bury it, / in a hole that's 6ft deep")

Olivia Mistelle Maxell's picture

Zara

That hits the nail on the head, huh. 

skate's picture

I tried explaining to the

I tried explaining to the straight girl I was having sex with over the summer that this dude is gay.  Straight people grasp 4% of what is going on in the world.

Not2Taem's picture

That much?

Evil

skate's picture

Collectively, collectively.

Collectively, collectively.

Not2Taem's picture

LOL

Smile

Olivia Mistelle Maxell's picture

You know...

What about the wolf boy?! I mean...come on...(My personal opinion, of course) But I knew Kristen batted for our team back when she played Jodie Foster's kiddo in Panic Room. 

peacekitty's picture

Wouldn't it be cool if that's

Wouldn't it be cool if that's really the case?

"Fight Prime Time. Read a Book"