Do you ever imagine who should play Rachel’s dads, or Quinn’s sister, or the Cohen-Chang parents at home in their vampire lair? Me too. It’s pretty much impossible not to indulge in some rudimentary visualizations; like the old mental trick where someone tells you not to think of a pink elephant. See how that works?
So this week, with Glee still on hiatus, I thought we might indulge in a little fantasy casting session. I’ll share my top picks for various as-yet uncast parts of the extended Glee family…and then you, bois & grrlz, are invited to share your own selections. Down in the comment area. Where you are all free to comment. For free. Y’all know you can do that, right? Just checking.
1) The Misters Berry
For some reason, I have always pictured Rachel’s dads as Paul Reiser and Ernie Hudson.
Paul (who must wear horned-rimmed glasses for the part) would be the neurotic Jewish worrywart dad who works from home as a freelance graphic designer; while Ernie would be the indulgent, my-princess-gets-whatever-she-wants dad, who works as a surgeon at the Lima County hospital and comes home with slightly frayed nerves every night. Plus, he’s exhausted from Ghostbusting on his days off, obviously. So he will do pretty much anything to keep Rachel from having a diva tantrum while he’s trying to relax and watch his stories. That’s how I imagine Rachel got her two pet ferrets, Mrs. Snuggleton and Valerie Bertinelli, who she regularly tweets about. This part, I am actually not making up.
Yep. Rachel, Quinn and Kurt all have their own twitter feeds. And for all those who feel upset with Mr. Ryan Murphy for never actually showing Rachel’s dads on the show, you can see that they are in fact quite a large presence in her life outside of school…it may be insanely gimmicky, but it’s also ruddy brilliant intertextuality.
So there you have the Berry family at home. Good luck closing your eyes ever again.
2) Quinn’s super-Christian older sister
Ever since seeing The Romantics last year, I can’t see anyone but Anna Paquin in the role of Quinn’s repressed, born-again older sister (you know, the one who married a fine Christian man with his own chain of UPS stores). Of course, that casting would preclude them ever being able to explore their smokin’ hot, somewhat handsy chemistry on screen, but that’s okay…Rachel wouldn’t like her girlfriend having sexy times with some worldly older woman, anyhow.
It would probably have to be Hanna, since she’s the only blonde in that crew.
Of course, if Hanna comes to town, then you know Emily’s totally gonna tag along too, so she can hop on Santana. Which actually might be just the sort of catalyst needed to make Brittany come to her senses and dump Stubbles McCripplepants already, so…ladies of Rosewood, consider this your formal invitation from the girls of McKinley high. All aboard the hottietown express! Next stop, Lima Ohio.
…Okay, so…yeah…what was I saying? Sorry kids, we may be experiencing technical difficulties at this time due to our servers overheating. Why don’t you check out a few more hilarious tweets from our friends at McKinley High, while I go find some ice…?
And remember: two more weeks till Glee returns to the airwaves. Find us right back here at Velvetpark next week, though, for a very Berry Passover treat! (Oh yeah. I’m totally going there.) And don’t forget to give Mrs. Snuggleton and Valerie Bertinelli their veterinary-approved antidepressants.
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