Weekly Gleek: On My Way...to CLIFFHANGER PURGATORY

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Weekly Gleek: On My Way...to CLIFFHANGER PURGATORY

Cheezus f&%king Christ, Glee. Are you actually trying to kill us?! Due to the unprecedented levels of holy shit that did not just happen in this episode, I feel it only fair to begin this week’s review with a general spoiler alert. If you’re reading this and you haven’t yet seen the episode, you may want to seriously consider holding off on reading any further. If you do read on, please make sure to keep your eyes on the road and your seatbelts securely fastened, because this episode is going to splatter your brains on the pavement.

Okay. Still here? The curtain opens on Kurt and Rachel, chillaxin’ over some bridal mags at the Lima Bean, when they are once again accosted by Sebastian the Criminal Chipmunk. To be fair, it’s not completely his fault—just like Breadsticks is the only restaurant, The Lima Bean is of course the only coffee shop in Western Ohio, so it’s not like he has anywhere else to go. Mr. Meerkat informs Young Barbra and Old Betty that he’s made up a lovely engagement present for the soon-to-be Mr. & Mrs. Hudson using Photoshop, gleefully producing a fake nekkid picture of Finn with shriveled up junk which he promises to blast all over the interwebz if Rachel doesn’t drop out of Regionals.

 

When the rest of the club hears they’ve been threatened with show choir terrorism, they flip their collective bananas and swear to get the Al Qaeda Warblers disqualified, while Rachel reassures them that they needn’t worry; because like the highest levels of our government, she does not negotiate with terrorists. Finn does not appreciate his girl offering up his junk on the sacrificial platter, but Rachel points out that she’ll suffer any ensuing humiliation right alongside him; so don’t be a wuss, bro. Of course, it goes without saying that if such a threat were leveled against her own nekkid honor, she’d be just as bold and uncompromising; so naturally she expects her manmeat to walk the line right alongside her. Manmeat doesn’t quite see it that way, and storms out of the choir room. Ladies & gentlemen, bois & grrrlz, I call this session of Operation Regionals Drama to order. Buckle up and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, please, because this ride is about to get bumpy like humpty.

 



Comments [10]

Tiff's picture

But the Trevor Project? I

But the Trevor Project? I could have sworn they mentioned Lady Gaga's foundation. Althought the Trevor Project makes more sense. Perhaps if they don't take international donations, they changed it for other regions?

Something else has been bothering me since the tenure episode aired. Is it really a competition (with a limited number of tenured positions) among teachers to receive tenure in some areas? Does anyone on VP know? Where I grew up, in Tennessee, tenure was something teachers were eligible for after a certain amount of time, regardless of how many positions were open. I think, anyway. Then again, I'm pretty sure that all our foreign language teachers had to actually hold degrees in the languages they taught, so perhaps it's just a Glee thing....

I just found it really unbelievable that Sue wouldn't already be tenured. There's no other reasonable explanation for why someone who's pulled as many ridiculous stunts as she has to still be teaching kids.

I felt like this episode should have been three episodes. (It's like they ran out of time, slapped all the important parts together, and are going off the air until they can film more.) Really? A suicide attempt, Regionals and the potential wedding/car wreck story didn't belong in the same place. Sweeps or not. I wish they'd worked on closing up other plot holes--such as Shelby and the kid Quinn and Puck were clamoring over just a couple weeks ago totally disappearing without explanation and the Santana/grandmother story line--before stirring up everything else.

I liked the Spanish Teacher episode. It was fun, but I don't think it moved the plot along very much. The same could be said for the entire what's-his-name-from-Full-House story, and pretty much every time Kristin Chenoweth (as much as I love her) has been on the show. So why put everything big into one episode? I don't understand.

And now more than a month without Glee. Again. Is it just because the show takes so long to rehearse, film, record, etc? Or is there some other sporting event that I'm blissfully unaware of (ie all of them) getting in the way? Thank God for Smash this time around. Smile

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

glee & realism...

no, you are right that 99% of what the teachers do on glee is insane and would get them fired if they did it in actual reality. heather hogan at afterellen even made up a fun drinking game where you do a shot every time a teacher does something that would get them fired (ask your students to donate their spunk! fire them out of cannons! have sex with them!) and then do an extra bonus shot if it's also a felony. you just gotta accept that what's "real" about glee isn't the practical details; just like it's completely rediculous to imagine an actual high school show choir could learn anywhere near the sheer volume of numbers they do on a weekly basis, even if you excuse the lavish sets and costumes as fantasy sequences. it's ALL rediculous. but it's real on an emotional level, which totally works for me because I have a naturally jungian/archetypal mindset. 

as for the weird hiatus schedule, I have no idea. it seems to be more and more common for shows to take long hiatuses and stretch out their seasons these days, but I don't know at all what logic (if any) is behind the scheduling choices. c'est la vie, what can you do? some things are not in our power! ;p

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Tiff's picture

Yeah, people burst into

Yeah, people burst into beautifully harmonized songs with perfectly choreographed dance moves, so the suspension of disbelief is already pretty high. It's musical theatre, after all. I do think they took Sue's character a bit too far when it comes to the violence against students thing. But I was just honestly curious as to whether or not some parts of the country make teachers compete for tenure. Everything differs so from state to state....

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

that, I don't know

all I can tell you is that it's not the case here in NY-- one of my good buddies who is a high school science teacher mentioned that to me during the ricky martin episode. there is no competition, you just get it if you put in the time and don't do anything to besmirch your record!

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Conlite's picture

One advantage to seeing

One advantage to seeing episodes a week later is I have another week before I get cliffhung!

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

I was thinking of you when I posted the spoiler warning!

yeah Conlite, I wanted to make sure you (and your fellow international/hulu dependant readers) wouldn't be subjected to reading anything horrifying here without being duly warned first. but I honestly think it might be better to get the horror over with all at once, rather than to know it's coming and have to wait a week. I dunno. so did you read everything, or are you waiting to be surprised? 

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Conlite's picture

I go ahead and read your

I go ahead and read your blogs right away because I have usually forgotten half of what you said by the following week!  (Except that you want more lesbian action at all times.)

Smile

Tiff's picture

I stopped reading near the

I stopped reading near the end, (because I don't want to know what happens in advance) but I get the impression we watched different versions of this episode. Is that possible? Could I have found an international version that's different? Because the version I watched had the Warblers performing first, followed by the group whose name I don't remember, followed by New Directions. Rachel and Finn announced they were getting married before they all performed, and the group the clubs were raising money for was Lady Gaga's Born This Way Foundation, not the Trevor Project (though that does seem more appropriate). I am so confused....

Jenny Aisenberg's picture

no, yr right, only one version

I have a tendency to mash things together, or gloss over other things completely, for the sake of flow in my reviews when the order of events seems trivial. we did see the same version of the ep, tiff! ;p

"We're all born naked. The rest is drag."
--RuPaul (appropriating Judith Butler for the masses...)

Tiff's picture

I replied to this, but it

I replied to this, but it showed up above. :-/