This is How You Lose Her // This is How You Keep Her

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This is How You Lose Her // This is How You Keep Her

Editor's Note: Hearing that Junot Diaz will release a book this coming September entitled This Is How You Lose Her, I set one of my favorite ladies, Kholi, out on assignment to ask our community: How do you "lose" her? How do you "keep" her? Ever the diligent researcher, this is what Kholi discovered:

It’s taken me a little moment to really figure out how to formulate these words. Interestingly enough, I kind of feel like it should be easy for me to write an entire post on how you lose a woman. 

I say this because, by virtue of the fact that I’ve declared myself my own girlfriend, it should be clear that the only lasting relationship I’ve encountered (aside from my friends who, I must confess are BEYOND the greatest, and my family) is with myself.  To be completely honest, I even lose her a little bit sometimes.

With all of that said, I took to the mean streets of Twitter and FB … and text … to figure out from a few friends exactly “how you lose her.”  I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.  Asking someone to participate in the hashtag is kind of like saying, “Hey, you there! Spill to me the secrets of your unsuccessful courtships!”  And … well … I guess that’s what I was asking.

I decided to share a few choice tweets:

What did I find? Well, as always, I found that I’m usually the only one willing to say the things we don’t want to hear.  There weren’t that many people interested in sharing their points of non-negotiation. 

This is minus Max, of Tomboyz Quarterly.  Still, even her tweets were lent in jest.

I did, however, get several amazing tweets about how to “keep her.”  Apparently, we’re rather well-versed on the things that tend to make us happy.

I even got a couple great texts from @ImsoDubai:

“#thisishowyoukeepher: Continue to do the same things you did to get her. Do small things like cook for her. Make her something from the heart … Be attentive. … Let her have me time.”

As great as all these answers are, I can’t help but wonder, why, it is so much easier for people to discuss the things that make them happy than it is to discuss the things