ThreeWay: Femme Battle Tactics

Julia: So last week’s ThreeWay was about how butches use chivalry to show their appreciation for their significant others. This week I thought we could talk about some of the

Julia: So last week’s ThreeWay was about how butches use chivalry to show their appreciation for their significant others. This week I thought we could talk about some of the ways we, as femmes, show our appreciation for the person we’re dating/loving/boning.

Amy: Sounds fair enough. Although, this might get me in trouble, considering I think I come up short in my relationship.

Julia: I am going to suck on a mini-tootsie pop while we chat to show my appreciation for having a sugar high.

Amy: JEAL. Wish I had one. You know you just want readers to have a sexual image of you while they read this. Sucking.

Julia: Shut up. I’m VERY appreciative! (Of readers having a sexual image of me while they read this.)

Amy: Haha. Ok, so what kinds of things do you do for your partner?

Julia: I fall into the domestic goddess femme category. I show my appreciation by homemaking and, in large part, by feeding T delectable, healthful foods that I usually cook myself.

Amy: Crap, I can’t let my partner read this.

Hmmpf. I knew I should have just stuck with Little

Suzie Homomaker as my drag queen name...

Julia: LoL

Amy: That’s nice. Do you wear anything special while you do these things?

Julia: If it makes you feel better, I would kill for your fashion sense!

Amy: Thanks.  🙂

Julia: Sometimes, but I’ve gotten lazy about that these days since we’re both so busy. Plus, you don’t really want to cook wearing a nice outfit. At least, not when you’re as messy in the kitchen as I am. Ha.

Amy: Do you wear an apron?

Julia: No, I need to find a cute one!

Amy: I told A that I’d do more chores if she bought me a really cute apron.

Julia: Awww.

Amy: And pink dishwashing gloves.

Julia: Ha!

Amy: It makes a HUGE difference to me. I need some sort of motivation. And fashion is motivating to me.

Never doubt the power of the perfect accessory.

Julia: It makes it kind of fun role-play-ey.

Amy: Yes. For sure. Like, when I have a big cleaning day, I have to wear something fun.

Julia: Like what? Describe a typical Miller housecleaning ensemble.

Amy: Last time that was a leotard and leg warmers.

Julia: Ha! 80s Amy. Heart.

Amy: And I played Beyoncé, taking dance breaks in front of the mirror.

Julia: Hahaha!  Nice.

Amy: Instead of thinking it’s cute though, A just says things like “Working hard, huh?” and “Ummm… can you get back to work?”

Julia: LoL  Aw. Does she at least say appreciative things about your selection of outfit, Or make eyes at you? Or try to bend you over the sofa in the middle of vacuuming?

Amy: She thinks it’s funny. No. She might if it were something hotter. But my outfits fall more on the funny side of the spectrum when I’m cleaning. Like you said, anything really cute, you don’t want to get dirty.  In that way.  🙂

Julia: The French Maid outfit is so early 2000s.

Amy: Haha! Totes.

Julia: What should we replace it with? Schoolgirl outfit?

Amy: Eh.  I think that’s sort of early 2000s too.

Who you gonna call? DUST BUSTERS!

Julia: I think the schoolgirl thing is eternally hot.

Amy: This is why I just wear something funny. For cleaning.

Julia: But then I’m eternally hot for teacher.

Amy: Haha.

Julia: Yes, that is smart.

Amy: Hear that Prof C?

Julia: Hey, T is getting her degree to become a teacher! She wants to be a high school football coach. Which is kind of super hot.

Amy: HOT. Two in one.

Julia: The tracksuit and the whistle?

Amy: Sue Sylvester! But hot.

Julia: Right! Plus the bookish English teacher, all in one? Rar. Okay, what else do we do to show our femme appreciation? Oh! I know. I sometimes lounge around scantily clad. On purpose. And parade around in front of her oh so casually on my way to the kitchen.

Amy: Ooh la la!  So nice of you, Julia.  🙂  My train of thought was also along those lines.

Julia: Well, that part is easy here because we live in the damn desert, the land of eternal HADES FIRE. But yes, extra motivation for showing more skin…

Amy: Let her look at you. That’s classic. Also, I let her do this or that.

Julia: Yes! Asking her to do stuff like open jars. That’s good.  Especially when you flirt when you ask. Does A do that thing where she puffs up a little when you do stuff like that?  In that cute way?

Amy: Oh, yeah. All the time.

Julia: I LOVE THAT.  Adorable.  And hot.

Amy: But sometimes she’s suspicious (rightfully so?) that my motivation comes from laziness.

Julia: Hahahaha.

Amy: Like, “I can’t cut brocolli.You’re so much better at it”

Julia: LoL  Gee. That’s subtle, Miller! You have to ask her to do a task that subtly reinforces her butch sensibilities/identity.

Amy: Or, “Can you turn the compost? I don’t know how.”

Julia: Hahaha. You’re shameless. (Respect.)

Amy: The truth of that matter is that it’s disgusting. And ruins my rep as a pretty girl.

Dirty is the new pink!

Julia: Ha! So in closing, things that we femmes do to show appreciation for our partners include but are not limited to… a) domestic goddessing, b) artfully chosen fashion statements.

Amy: c) letting them look at us scantily clad.  (Still my fave.)

Julia: d) asking them to do stuff for us. e) FLIRTING!

Amy: And f) letting them feel better about themselves by opening jars etc

Julia: If we missed anything, I’m sure our readers will let us know.

Amy: Yes, I’d love to hear more…

Julia: Word.

Amy: What else can I do, dear readers, to show appreciation for my partner whilst staying clean?

Julia: Ha!

Amy: And not breaking a sweat.

Julia: What else can I do, dear readers, to keep things filthy dirty?